Dear Agony
by Fegele
Summary: 1871 Gilbert gave birth to his and Ludwig's daughter, Louise. It was the start of their Empire. Now, after the Second World War and at the start of the Cold War, they are going to have another little gift. It's the start of their hell. Germancest
1. Six Years Without You

**A\N: **There isn't enough Germancest!Mpreg out there and this sucks but I had to do something, sorry UU!

**Story-Lines: **they are **2!**  
>-First<em>; <em>this one! Ludwig, Gilbert and Louise after the Second World War, during the Cold War, the Wall etc. etc.

-Second: It talks about what happened before the end of the Second War. It starts during the German Unification, where we have the start of Ludwig and Gilbert relationship... and it will start with the second chapter!

**Something else: **there is Germancest and Mpreg but you already know it, I think! We have a very very dangerous one-side Ivan x Gilbert (you know what I'm talking about).

Have a good reading!

* * *

><p><em><strong>[Six Years Without You]<strong>_

"_Well… did you choose the names?"_

_"Gilbert…"_

_"Oh, this is an very awesome name, West!"_

_"I don't want to choose them alone!"_

_"You don't! I want just to know what you've chosen, if they don't sound awesome we'll talk about names another day!"_

_"Well… I was thinking about Maximilian or Friedrich for a boy!"_

_"Oh! They're both very awesome but Friedrich is more awesome!"_

_"And Elisabeth or…"_

_"Nein! We're already a sort of Elisabeth in Europe and it's enough for me!"_

_"…or Louise for a baby girl."_

_"Louise?"_

_"Ja, Louise."_

_"Louise… Louise Beilschmidt… Ja! It sounds awesome!"_

[Berlin, 1945]

Ludwig leaned back against the cold and dirty wall and pinched the bridge of his nose, his head aching from too much thinking so late at night. Francis had told him not to stress himself so much and just go to bed, they needed him to be lucid, but Ludwig knew it wouldn't help him at all. He just couldn't get any sleep when he knew that there was his family out there, somewhere in that destroyed nation or, worse, somewhere in the city that was still burning.

He was going to turn crazy, he was sure about it, he threw his head back against the wall but it didn't hurt enough! He deserved something else, he deserved to be tortured until the end of his miserable life and if Gilbert and their child weren't safe, he would had accepted it with relief. Yes, relief! Because if he couldn't die only the endless physical pain would have been able to make him tolerate the simple idea of being alive.

He held his knees against his chest hiding his face against them, "Gilbert…" He called desperately, almost sobbed, "please, Gilbert, be alive! Gott, bitte! Bitte, let him live! Not for me, I know I don't deserve him… _them _anymore! But for my child! She doesn't deserve to suffer, bitte!"

"For God's sake!" Someone exclaimed annoyed outside of his cell, "stop to babble, Ludwig! No one is going to hear you besides me! And I trying to sleep a little!" It was Arthur's voice. Ludwig had forgotten that they, the allies, used to supervise him every night. "You were here yesterday, too…" The German murmured and the Brit snorted, "I know better than you and I very pissed off so shut up or I will come inside and I will kick your ass!" He shouted growling something else that the German couldn't understand, "go to sleep, we need you to be healthy and alive a little longer!"

"Why don't you just torture me and execute me?" Ludwig asked desperately, "Other nations before me have died, why don't you try to kill me?"

"I'm going to satisfy you if you don't shut the hell up!"

"You will inform me when you will find my brother and my daughter, right? You won't keep it secret to punish me, right?"

"Believe me, bastard! I will do everything to make you stop to annoy me here and now!"

"I can't help myself, I'm sorry…"

"Don't try to act like a good child, Ludwig! If Gilbert isn't with you right now it's because he has a lot of good reasons and you know them better than me! I hope to know that they are too far away to be taken back!"

"I just want to know that they are alive and together, I don't need anything else…" Ludwig murmured looking up at his only, little window: he couldn't see the stars. He hoped that where Gilbert and their child were right now, Louise was able to see the stars because if she was looking up at them it was because she was thinking about his father. Ludwig smiled sadly: he had thought about that stupid game at the start of the Great War when he had begun to stay away from home for weeks and weeks and his baby girl had begun to have tantrums because of it. "You have probably forgotten about it…" Ludwig muttered sadly closing his eyes to see the image of Gilbert with their beloved child. It was his treasure, his family and he had abandoned it and destroyed it with his owns hands. "I deserve neither the death…"

Ludwig didn't know when he had fallen asleep but he didn't feel better when a desperate voice began to scream inside his cell. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare to touch her, you fucking bastard! Stay away from my daughter!"

Ludwig moved into a sitting position so quickly that his neck hurt: Gilbert was hitting his fists against the cell's reinforced door screaming loudly to someone outside. He was talking arrogantly like always but when no one answered he stop to hit the door falling on his knees like an empty doll.

"I beg you…" His voice was changed completely, "Ivan, I beg you! Don't touch my child! Make me what you want but don't hurt my child!" He sobbed violently and his shoulders began to tremble violently. He was crying. "Not my child! Not my… child…"

Ludwig widened his eyes leaving the bed to kneel next to the older German, "Gilbert!" He called wrapping his arms around his lover's shaking body, "Gilbert, I'm here! I'm here!" He repeated stroking the albino's back, he rested his face between his white hair inhaling his lover's scent. "Gilbert…"

He smiled down at his brother and lover but his happiness died immediately when he saw Gilbert push him away with both his hands. "Don't touch me…" He muttered at first, "don't touch me!" The albino screamed the second time making the younger one fall on the hard pavement.

Ludwig stared up slowly meeting Gilbert's red eyes, they were burning with anger while the tears streamed down his cheeks silently. He was paler than he used to be, he was tiny, he was dirty with mud and blood, his temple was injured but the cut didn't look so serious. "Gilbert…" Ludwig tried again holding out his right hand. "Shut the hell up!" Gilbert shouted back pressing his back against the door, "I don't want to hear a word from you!"

"Gilbert…" Ludwig crawled next to him trying to touch his face but Gilbert pushed his hand away holding his knees against his chest, "what have you done?" He sobbed hiding his face in his hands, "what have you done?"

"Gilbert…"

"Ivan Braginski has our daughter!" Gilbert shouted back sobbing violently again. Ludwig widened his eyes rethinking about Gilbert previous words and he stopped to breath for a while, he opened his mouth babbling some nonsense but he couldn't help but stand up hitting his fists against the door like his lover before him.

"Francis!" He called loudly, "Arthur! Arthur! Alfred?" He continued to call. Where the hell were everyone? "Arthur! Francis!" The Brit and the French men could still help them, they were two allies, they were enemies, but they had been parents before Gilbert and him! They would have never hurt a child, Ludwig was sure about that! "Arthur!"

"What the hell, Ludwig!" The Brit shouted and Ludwig closed his eyes sighing in relief. "Arthur! Ivan has brought Gilbert here! He has my daughter, please!" Arthur tried to open the cell's door and Ludwig pulled Gilbert up to not make it hit his lover. The albino didn't have the strength to push his younger brother away again so he just pressed a hand against his eyes without stopping to cry.

The Brit stepped inside the cell followed by his French lover, "Gilbert?" Francis asked coming closer to his old friend. Arthur widened his eyes, staring at the albino in front of me, "Ivan! You bastard!" He shouted turning around and running away.

"My child…" Gilbert called desperately again, "my child is with that monster!"

"Shhh… Come on, Gilbert! Sit down!" Francis pushed his old friend toward the bed making him sit, Ludwig pressed his shoulder against the nearest wall tiredly trying to restrain the painful feeling that was shattering his soul. Why did he fall asleep? Why didn't he hear Ivan's men take Gilbert inside that cell? Why wasn't he lucid to fight that Russian monster to save his daughter? His Louise… Where was his baby girl? Was she crying? Was she calling out for her Mama and Papa? What the hell did Ivan Braginski want from her?

Ludwig pressed his forehead against the cold wall hiding his face from Gilbert and Francis, he bit his lower lip trying to not sob too loudly, "Louise… Louise…"

* * *

><p>Louise Beilschmidt wasn't crying at all.<p>

She was staring up at the tall blond man in front of her with an expression that was the spitting image of Ludwig's one. Ivan tilted his head smiling sweetly, "you're an adorable little doll, you know?" He asked. Louise lifted her blue eyes but she didn't answer stubbornly.

She was dressed up like a boy with short trousers and a dirty shirt, her blond hair used to be long but now her golden locks were very short. She was six, she could look like a boy, yet. But she was a little too angelic to be unnoticed. Louise was beautiful as a baby girl and she continued to be beautiful as a baby boy, as well.

It was impressive how much she looked like Ludwig in that way! Ivan remembered that baby boy very well, that little innocent face… no one would have said that he would have turned into the strong man he was now. But Louise… Louise… Ivan decided to not hurt her because he was very curious to see the woman that she could become a day…

"You don't look like Gilbert so much…" Ivan didn't like it but he couldn't deny that Louise was a real piece of Aryan art, "you aren't a talkative person right, little one? Ludwig has to be very proud of you, every father in the world dream to have a daughter so much similar to them."

Louise continued to stare at him without answering, she didn't even move on her seat or anything else. She looked calm, she wasn't afraid, she was annoyed instead. "Where is Mama?" She asked after a while. Ivan blinked two times and then he smiled, "don't you want to talk with me for a while?"

"No, sir."

"So honest…" Ivan laughed briefly, "I will take you to your Mama and Papa if you talk with me for a while, okay?"

Louise suddenly stopped to be so stubborn: her blue eyes widened while she stared up at the Russian man. "Do you know where my Papa is?" She asked hopefully and Ivan smiled triumphal, "sure, little one, he is with your Mama right now."

"Bitte!" The girl stood up coming closer to the adult, "bitte, I miss my Papa, bitte!"

"When did you see your Papa the last time?" He asked curiously. "I don't know…" Louise muttered nervously, she had been very composed until now but she was only a child, after all. "Papa always says to me that if I look up at the stars every night when he is far away, he will come back sooner. But he didn't come back to me and Mama since that trip in Poland six years ago!"

Ivan lifted his eyebrows confused. "You're talking about the invasion of Poland, right? I was with your Papa and he has come back home after the last battle, hasn't he?"

Louise stared up at him silently for a while and then her expression darkened a little. "He wasn't my Papa."

Right in that moment, the British ally stormed inside the dark room sighing in relief when he saw the child safe and sound right in front of Ivan. "Arthur!" The Russian said friendly forcing a smile, "the gentlemen don't knock on the door anymore?"

Arthur gave him a venomous gaze and then he looked down at the little girl, "hi…" He said gently forcing a smile, "I'm Arthur, you can't remember me but I know you, Louise. You look like your Daddy so much!"

The child looked at him confused, "do you know my Papa, too?"

"Papa… Okay, we'll call him Papa. Yes! I know him and your Mama, little one."

"Where are they, now?"

"Do you want to see them?"

Louise smiled brightly: this mister was better than the taller one with the big nose. "Ja! Bitte, ja!" She exclaimed coming closer to the Brit quickly and Ivan made a face. Arthur held out his right hand and the girl grabbed it immediately, "I will take you to them…" He looked up at Ivan one more time, "we'll talk later…"

"Sure…" Ivan muttered.

* * *

><p>Ludwig didn't know how much time passed but it looked like a century to him, Gilbert continued to sob and Francis continued to talk with him trying to calm him down. Ludwig hated it! Gilbert was his brother, his lover, his child's mother! He has to be the one to take care of him, right now!<p>

Gilbert looked so fragile and it scared Ludwig so much… no one knew, but Gilbert used to be the stronger one between them, the cheerful one, the one that made him feel better even when all around there was only bad things. Ludwig was stubborn and responsible when Gilbert was impulsive and childish but…

Ludwig wasn't able to stand up alone after a fall, Gilbert was.

So it was so terrible looking at his proud black eagle without being able to help him, but it was not about a war this time. It was about their only child!

The door opened and Ludwig's heart stopped when he saw that blond angel step inside the room smiling brightly. "Mama! Papa!" Ludwig saw Gilbert hold his breath too until the little girl reached him holding her little arms out. Gilbert lifted her up quickly holding her against his chest with all the strength in his arms. "Ouch! Mama too tight!" Luoise said and Gilbert laughed weakly pushing his child slightly to look at her face. "Sorry!" he exclaimed taking that little face in his hands and kissing her forehead, "sorry, love, I'm sorry!" He placed a kiss on her cheeks and on her nose and then he held his baby girl close to him again crying with joy, "love, my little awesome love…"

Ludwig had stayed still against the wall like he was frozen staring down at the two most important things in his life looking for the courage to walk closer and touch them, hold them in his arms protecting them from the entire world if it was necessary. "Ludwig…" Arthur was handing something to him, the German looked down: it was a blanket, "the child doesn't have to catch a cold. Tomorrow we will find a better place for you and your family."

Ludwig took the blanket smiling briefly to the Brit and the French, "thank you," he said sincerely, "seriously, thank you very much…"

Arthur shrugged, "if it depended on me, you were already shoot in the head but a child doesn't have to pay because her father is a monster, it's not her fault and we're not like your old black friends!"

"Thank you…" Ludwig repeated again ignoring Arthur's cold voice. The Brit turned around and left, Francis smiled down at his old friend and his daughter one last time and then he followed his lover closing the cell's door.

Gilbert was still kissing and hugging their child while Ludwig walked closer to place the blanket on his girl's little shoulders. Gilbert wrapped it around the little one's body and Ludwig knelt on the pavement in front of them stroking his child's back slowly.

Louise turned around looking down at him and her blue eyes shone, "Papa! Papa!" She held out his right hand towards him and Ludwig couldn't help but stand up taking her in his arms. "You're back, Papa…" She muttered against his shoulder wrapping her little arms around his neck, Ludwig placed his nose between her hair closing his eyes. He could feel that little heart beat against his chest and he found again that gorgeous feeling followed by that gorgeous thought: if that little heart could beat it was thanks to him, too. "I'm here!" He said smiling, "Papa is here!"

His blue eyes met Gilbert's red ones, Ludwig held his daughter with only a hand reaching out with the other one to touch his brother's face. He brushed his fingertips against the pale cheek, Gilbert didn't move away, he didn't react, he just continued to stare up at him but he didn't push his little brother away.

Ludwig sighed deeply, it was better than nothing.

Gilbert rested his back against that sort of pillow on the bed looking at his child with a sweet smile on his face: Louise was cuddled against her father's chest while Ludwig caressed her short blond locks, "why did you cut her hair?" Ludwig asked and Gilbert turned serious again, "they were looking for a girl with long blond hair with an albino man, I couldn't change my aspect but I've tried to hide her in a way or another."

"Don't you like me with short hair?" Louise asked looking up at his father, Ludwig smiled placing a kiss on her forehead, "you will always be the most beautiful girl in the world for me, Louise," he said and Gilbert smiled again, "and my beautiful baby girl have to sleep, now."

Louise pouted hiding her face against his father's chest, "Papa!" She was completely Gilbert's daughter when she acted like this. "We'll sleep together like we used to do years ago," Gilbert added smiling down at his child and Louise stared up at him immediately, "don't you want to sleep between Mama and Papa?" Louise giggled happily crawling next to her mother laying down. Gilbert kissed her cheek wrapping an arm around her little body safely, Ludwig looked at them for while helping Gilbert to wrap the blanket around their child and himself, "I will sleep on the pavement, it's not a problem…"

"West…" Gilbert called softly looking up at him, "your daughter needs you, don't run away, please."

Ludwig stared down at him for a while, _and you? What do you need, Gilbert? Do you need me?_ He decided to stay silent crawling next to them slowly and placing a hand on his little girl's chest protectively. Louise smiled up at him cuddling herself between her parents bodies, she closed her eyes slowly sighing deeply while Gilbert began to play with her hair. Ludwig beamed watching them, he didn't remember the last time he had been with his family like this, but it was so beautiful right now.

Gilbert leaned down to kiss the child's temple and his hand touched involuntary Ludwig's one, they looked at each other automatically waiting for the other to do or say something. Ludwig moved his fingers wrapping them around the smaller hand, Gilbert didn't push him away continuing to stare at his little brother's face. Ludwig took that hand to his lips, he kissed the palm and every single fingertips sweetly and then he looked up trying to restrain the tears, "forgive me."

Gilbert held his breath biting his lower lip, he didn't answer, he moved closer to touch Ludwig's forehead with his own, "I've waited… We've waited for you for six years!"

Ludwig closed eyes, "I will pay for everything, I _want_to pay for everything I've done but, please… please, Gilbert, don't run away another time."

"I had to run away!"

"I know, I'm sorry, you've done what was right to do. You've protected our child…"

"It's our child, now?" Gilbert asked coldly and Ludwig squeezed his hand, "I love her…" he muttered looking down at the sleeping girl. "It didn't look so true during Stalingrad!" Gilbert replied. "I love her!" Ludwig repeated firmly and Gilbert closed his eyes sighing deeply, "I know…" He murmured placing a kiss between Louise's hair, "I've always known that, you've fallen in love with her when she was just a little thing inside me. I've spent six years thinking about that Ludwig, the Ludwig that didn't let me make two steps because I couldn't stress myself, the Ludwig that wanted to touch my belly but he was too shy to do it by himself, the Ludwig that waited for me to fall asleep to talk with the baby inside me, because he was too stubborn to do it in front of me. I've looked for that Ludwig every time I've looked at you during the latest six years and when I couldn't find him it hurt, it hurt because they have taken you away from me right before my eyes and I could do nothing to protect you!"

"Shhh…" Ludwig kissed his brother's forehead, "I'm here, it fixes nothing but…"

"And where will you be when I'll wake up?"

Ludwig smiled briefly, "I'll be right here, next to you and our daughter right where I had to be no matter what, where I'll be forever because it's the place I belong to…"

Gilbert closed his eyes tiredly resting his forehead against the younger German's shoulder, "good night, West."

"Good night, Gilbert."

Their fingers were still laced together over their sleeping child's little heart.


	2. At The Start

**_[At The Start...]_**

_[1848\1849]_

Ludwig didn't know when it had begun, it had just happened.

Ludwig was born from the ashes of an ancient and shattered Empire forty years ago, he was born to be a little land without a real power because of the French Empire. He was born to be one of Francis Bonnefoy's new territories but someone was too awesome to let his new, adorable baby brother in the hands of the Holy Roman Empire's murderer. Ludwig, they have named him after his predecessor, was born to be nothing but Gilbert Beilschmidt's little hope and the Kingdom of Prussia had been his entire world during their years together.

Gilbert wasn't only his older brother, he was his father, he was his mother, he was his best friend even when the Prussian acted like the younger brother between them. When he was born, Roderich was sure that Gilbert would had never been able to take care of a baby boy. Gilbert used to hate babies, to be honest, but he had loved Ludwig. He had been with the younger one every time he needed him… and when he didn't need him, as well!

And Ludwig… Ludwig loved Gilbert.

He had stopped to say it when he was thirteen because he had completely turned in the stubborn person he would had been his entire life. But Ludwig loved Gilbert. He had always loved him because Gilbert was his world, his family, his everything. At first, it was a normal thing, Gilbert could be very tender with him when they were alone and Ludwig felt loved, felt important. He felt like every human in the world wants to feel.

Gilbert touched him and kissed him very often and Ludwig appreciated it because it was a good thing, when he was younger, he used to smile shyly every time Gilbert was particularly sweet with him. The things had changed during the years…

Ludwig had begun to feel uncomfortable when Gilbert was a little too tender with him, especially in front of other people. He had begun to refuse the gentle touches and the tender kisses, he had begun to stay alone the most of the time. Ludwig had begun to get nervous very often and it was worse when Gilbert was around trying to understand what was going wrong with him.

Ludwig didn't know how to explain it so he had just stopped to talk with his brother, he had isolate himself behind a world of silence and thoughts. Ludwig didn't like what he was, he didn't like to be the Prussia and the Austria's little toy, he didn't like to be Gilbert's child and Roderich's territory. He wasn't allowed to be himself and it pissed him off very much.

1848, he was fifteen when he rebelled against Roderich for the first time.

Ludwig was in Bavaria during the firsts rebel movements, Gilbert wasn't happy about it but he didn't try to stop him at first, Roderich did but Ludwig was firm enough to get a _sort of_Parliament. Ludwig wanted to be a nation, it was his dream, it was his right, he had just to fight to get it. He wanted to have a real homeland and he wanted it with Gilbert, not Roderich! It was the only Germany he could dream about, he didn't need nothing else.

"I'm sorry, West."

Yes, a dream.

"My king will never be _our_king."

It was only a childish, shining dream.

"Tell me why! I wanted to give a great nation to you! I could give an Empire to you! I could make your king be the greatest man in Europe! It was my dream, it could be our dream! Why are you betraying me, Gilbert? Why you?"

The Kingdom of Prussia had said no. It has been Ludwig's condemn…

Ludwig had fought when Roderich had got back everything he had given, he had fought so hard that the Austrian had to ask Ivan's help to suppress him. Ludwig could be brave, Ludwig could be stubborn and strong… but if Roderich didn't want to get his hands dirty with him, Ivan didn't have to restrain himself.

Ludwig didn't remember Gilbert's face while his brother took care of his wounds, at the end of everything. He didn't remember it because he was too busy to stare at the fireplace next to them. "West…" Gilbert touched his red cheek gently, Ludwig didn't push his hand away only because he was too tired to fight against his older brother, right now. "West, I'm sorry…" He didn't have to say that, he just didn't. Ludwig stood up suddenly making Gilbert flinch.

"West?"

"I want to stay alone…" he muttered standing before the window.

Gilbert forced a smile, "the awesome me doesn't want to let his baby brother alone."

"But it didn't stop you to did it when I really needed you, bruder!" Ludwig replied glaring at his older brother. Gilbert's smile disappeared, "West, I tried to convince my king! You have to believe me!"

"I will believe you another time, I'm too tired now, okay?"

"Nein!" Gilbert exclaimed coming closer to the younger one, "West, I don't like to talk like an old kingdom but this time I have to! You are too young to really understand what you can or can't do and you were making something too great for your age!"

"You were sixteen when you have turned into a Kingdom."

"Sure! But I wasn't born forty years before!"

Ludwig sent him another cold gaze, Gilbert closed his fists. _When did he turn so firm? When did he turn so rebel? When… When the hell did he turn taller than me?_

"You didn't notice, maybe," Ludwig murmured coldly, "but I didn't want to do it alone! It could be a great step for me, yes, but I'm young not stupid! I wanted you with me because I knew I needed you!"

"You needed my awesomeness!" Gilbert giggled proudly but Ludwig didn't look so amused. The Prussian turned serious again and snorted taking his brother's face in his hands. "West, please… your time will come! I know it will come and when it'll happen, I will be with you."

"You'll be against me like everyone else, bruder."

"Nein!" Gilbert complained resting his forehead against his younger brother's one. "I will be with you when our time will come."

_[1852]_

Ludwig didn't know when it began, but he knew very well who made him realize it.

It was a day like everyone else, there was the sun outside and he wasn't depressed like he used to be very often ultimately. It had, at the end, a good day and Ludwig had learnt to appreciate that type of days. Gilbert had been with his king the most of time, like it happened very often since Ludwig had turned into a teen. The young German didn't complain, he was proud to see his brother focused on his duties, it was a very rare thing with Gilbert and Ludwig had always scolded him because of that since his childhood.

He was in his brother's study reading one of Gilbert's diaries. Ludwig didn't want to admit it but he liked them, inside them there was everything Gilbert had been before his birth, but the thought that his older brother had loved someone else during the centuries made him feel very nervous. Ludwig used to be a rational person and he couldn't be jealous of what had come before him, Gilbert couldn't betray him if he wasn't even born, yet!

But Ludwig couldn't help himself.

At the start, it had been a childish thing: the little Ludwig hated to see Gilbert alone with people who he didn't like. Francis and Antonio were a perfect example. Spain wasn't a real menace, he was a little too friendly but he was more childish than Gilbert. Francis! Francis was the real danger! Ludwig didn't like how he smiled to his brother, he didn't like how he stared at him! That man was vulgar, narcissist, pervert… Ludwig didn't want to see him around Gilbert and, at the end, he had said it to his brother.

Gilbert had laughed kissing him and holding him against his chest repeating how much he was adorable, Francis was in love with another person he added after a while, an English man. But it wasn't enough to make Ludwig like him.

Ludwig was already a teen when he realized who his real enemy was, the same man who made him realize how much he really loved Gilbert.

"Hi, Ludwig!"

He was already sixteen the day Ivan Braginski stepped inside his brother's study without be allowed to. Ludwig lifted his eyes from the diary on the wooden surface sending to the Russian a surprised expression. "I'm sorry," Ivan said without stopping to smile, "I was sure to find Gilbert, here."

"My brother is with his king, right now," Ludwig explained coldly closing the little book before his eyes and resting his shoulders against the chair's back, "you can talk with me, if you want."

Ivan came closer slowly traveling his eyes all around the room, "it's a warm day, why do you want to stay inside this room all alone?"

Ludwig snorted, "I'm not going to make you stay here waiting for my brother's return."

"Oh, come on, Ludwig!" Ivan said friendly sitting on the chair at the other side of the desk, "I had to punish you, it wasn't a personal thing."

"It's always a personal thing with you…" Ludwig muttered.

"Why? We're nations we are born to fight each other, right?" A cold smile, "oh sorry, you're not a real nation, yet!"

Ludwig was young, he was far away from the man he was born to be, he was impulsive and naïve, he was only sixteen, after all…

"Get out, now!" He shouted, his blue eyes were full of hate, "I don't allow you to see my brother anymore! If you will have some political affair to discuss, you will talk about it with me and only me!"

"Ludwig?" It was a strange thing to hear Gilbert call his real name, it was a dangerous thing, "what are you doing, Ludwig?" Gilbert asked clearer closing the study's door behind him. Ivan smiled diabolically at the younger blond when he saw all the firmness in those blue eyes disappear, Ludwig lowered his gaze feeling a wave of shame cross his mind and the Russian liked it very much. "Gilbert!" He exclaimed standing up and coming closer to the Kingdom of Prussia.

"Ivan…" Gilbert said smiling slightly, "what is the reason of your visit?"

Ivan laughed briefly, "there isn't enough awesomeness in my house, so I wanted to see you!"

Ludwig closed his fists tightly glaring at the Russian, he felt the urge to punch him, to hurt him, to hurt him _very_badly!

Gilbert smiled brightly and Ludwig hated him, too. "I'm sorry, my old friend, but my Kingdom needs my entire awesomeness now, I can't give you such precious present."

"Of course…" Ivan leered lifting a hand to touch Gilbert's light hair. Ludwig widened his eyes in disbelief standing up slowly trying to restrain himself. Gilbert's smile disappeared, as well. "Nyet…" Ivan murmured coming closer, "don't stop to smile, I love your smile."

Ivan bent down a little more, Gilbert didn't react.

Ludwig did it at his place.

The Prussian didn't see it happen, he just find himself staring at Ivan who was pressing his right hand against his right cheek laughing crazily. He had to blink two times and then he saw Ludwig next to him, his cheeks were red and his right fist were still suspended in the air. "Ludwig!" He exclaimed but the younger blond ignored him completely. "It's my last warning…" Ludwig muttered looking down at the Russian and Ivan smiled amused standing up again, "you've learnt to attack decently, good boy!" He send another sweet gaze to Gilbert, "see you soon, white rabbit."

Gilbert suddenly blushed and Ludwig tried to punch the older blond again. "Don't you dare to come here another time or…!"

"Ludwig!" Gilbert shouted moving right in front of his younger brother as Ivan stepped outside of the room still laughing.

Ludwig took a deep breath turning around but Gilbert grabbed his wrist to stop him, "what the hell were you doing?"

The younger brother answered with a firm gaze.

"What the hell were you doing, West? Do you understand what is your position? Do you understand that you were offending an Empire! For Christ's sake, West! Those stupid things can turn into a war if you don't act properly!"

"I'm not the first one to be arrogant with an Empire, here!" Ludwig replied hastily.

"You little shit!" Gilbert exclaimed, "I'm an adult, I'm a Kingdom, I'm able to take care of myself!"

"Me too!"

"You?" Gilbert laughed, "you were less childish when you were a baby, West! What the hell is happened to the too mature boy I've used to love?"

Ludwig almost pouted, "maybe, you didn't love him enough…" He didn't mean it, he really didn't mean it but he was so frustrated, so angry. Ludwig didn't see the slap come, but he felt it clearly against his right cheek. He didn't react, he just widened his eyes in disbelief while he stared up at his older brother who looked scared more than him. "Gilbert?" He called worried but the older one turned around hiding his face in his hands, "why did you make me do that, West?"

"Gilbert…" Ludwig came closer resting a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Gilbert, it was my fault! I've been a stupid, arrogant child!"

"Of course you've been! I'm too awesome to be treated in this way…"

"Gilbert…" Ludwig shook his head but he really wanted to hit it against the nearest wall, "Gilbert, please…" He made his brother turn around and Gilbert hid his face against his shoulder, "you can't try to act like an Empire if you are still a child, West."

"I'm sorry, Gilbert, I'm really sorry!"

"Don't you understand?" Gilbert pushed himself away slightly looking up at his younger brother, he wasn't crying but his gorgeous red eyes were full of tears. Ludwig really hated himself for that. "If something would happen to you, I would die! Don't you understand?"

Ludwig understood, he understood very clearly because he felt the same thing, "But I would die if you would let someone else touch you," He murmured without thinking about it. Gilbert stiffened not understanding entirely, he forced a smile, "No one will be able to take me away from you."

Ludwig shook his head, "no, you don't understand."

"West?"

"I turn crazy only reading about Friedrich and you inside your diaries…" He muttered blushing deeply, "I wasn't even born but you don't know how much it hurts."

Gilbert widened his eyes taking a step back.

"I swear, Gilbert, I swear! If you will let someone else touch you I will kill him… I will kill him!"

"West…" The albino tried to smile again, "you're so young, you're confused, it's normal."

Ludwig bit his lower lip, "Ja, of course…" he muttered walking away, Gilbert didn't stop him.

It was the first and only time that Ludwig tried to explain his feelings to himself and his brother. He had to wait for years before to be able to face his forbidden desire again.

_[1862]_

Ludwig was seventeen the second time he tried to fight for his dream.

"Are… Are you serious, sir?" The teenager asked with a smile full of hope and Otto von Bismarck smiled too placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I will do everything is in my power to help you to become what you're born to be, young one!"

Gilbert smiled brightly at his little brother over his Canceler's shoulder and Ludwig smiling back, his blue eyes were full of emotion and he was so ashamed of himself to have doubted. Gilbert had kept his promise, Ludwig had to wait more than a decades but his brother hadn't abandoned him. Gilbert was with him! At the end, Gilbert had reached out to take his hand and walk by his side along the golden road of their future glory!

"Danke…" Ludwig said sincerely, "danke!"

An Empire! A real home! His and Gilbert's Empire! His and Gilbert's home! Yes, it was too early to be sure of the victory but he had dreamed about that day so much time to think about a hypothetical defeat! Ludwig wasn't born to be a loser and Gilbert would had never accepted to become one because of his younger brother. The teenager was ready to everything to reach that dream. _Everything! _And if God didn't want to let him win, he would had died trying!

Ludwig wanted only to have Gilbert with him, if they could be together, they could be unbeatable. Ludwig had always been sure of that and he wasn't going to change his mind very soon! And when they would had turned into the new German Empire, he would had stared down at Francis and Ivan making them regret the day they had dared to touch what existed only to be his!

It had been one of the most important day of his life!

_[1864]_

It was humiliating.

"Come on, boy, take a deep breath!" Roderich said somewhere behind him.

It was very humiliating!

Ludwig pressed a hand against his mouth trying to not vomit another time. "It's alright! Don't be ashamed of yourself, it's your first real war!" Roderich reassured him stroking his back slowly to make him calm down but it pissed Ludwig off more than before. He was tired to hear about how much he was young! He was growing up very quickly to be a nation and he didn't want the pity of one of them, especially not Austria. "I'm fine…" he muttered standing up and taking a deep breath.

It wasn't because of the war! Yes, he wasn't pleased to see the death right before his eyes! He wasn't pleased to see his own people treated like they were nothing but pieces of meat but… but… the most terrible thing had been seeing Gilbert die in his arms! He hit his fist against the wall next to him and Roderich rested a hand on his shoulder fatherly, "it's not your fault! Gilbert has never been careful during a battle, he can't really die e he knows that so he uses to act in this way. It's not your fault!"

It wasn't true! Gilbert had ordered him to stay with the second line, because he wasn't expert enough to fight with the first one and his brother didn't want to waste his soldiers' life to satisfy a teenager's stupid tantrum. Gilbert was right! He was right, damn it! But Ludwig had to act like an idiot hero, he had to demonstrate to no one that he was the best soldier of Europe, sure! Why was he so stupid?

"Can I see him?" Ludwig asked weakly staring at dead corpses before him. "Sure…" Roderich said gently, "follow me."

Ludwig did, he didn't say another word, he walked silently towards the tents where some of the infantry's soldiers were taking their injured companions. Ludwig covered his mouth and nose with his hand to restrain the urge to vomit again, the smell of blood was too strong! Gilbert was in there, laying on a sort of litter in the deepest corner of that damned place, his eyes were closed, his uniform was dirty because of the mud and the blood but Ludwig closed his eyes sighing in relief when he notice that his brother's chest was moving slightly. "Are you Ludwig?" The doctor next to him asked, Ludwig nodded without taking his eyes off of Gilbert's face, "he had called your name until he had passed away again…"

Ludwig felt something hurt inside him, he knelt down taking Gilbert's hand gently in his. He wanted to cry but not in front of Roderich and the doctor so he just took another deep breath focusing on his brother's slow, too slow, breath. "He will wake up very soon…" Roderich said behind him, the doctor was disappeared but Ludwig didn't care. He kissed his brother's hand one, two, three times. "West…" Gilbert whispered so weakly that Ludwig thought to have imagined it but, when he lifted his eyes, his older brother was looking at him behind his half-closed eyelids.

"Gilbert!" He exclaimed smiling and resting a hand on his brother's cheek. Gilbert leaned in the touch sighing deeply, "are you fine?" he asked and Ludwig bit his lower lip to not cry. "Someone has protected me…" he almost babbled bending down to kiss his brother's forehead sweetly, "forgive me, Gilbert. Forgive me!"

Gilbert smiled weakly, "you don't like to follow orders, you got it from me…"

"Why, Gilbert?" He asked resting his head on the litter next to his brother's, "I'm a nation, too. I can't die, why did you move between me and those soldiers?"

Gilbert tried to laugh but it hurt so he stopped, " do you think that it's an easy thing to feel the death, West?" He said taking a deep breath, "I was seven when I'm died the first time…" Ludwig held his breath widening his eyes in surprise, "I would do everything to not make you know that feeling…"

Ludwig closed his eyes resting his forehead against his brother's one, he didn't restrain himself anymore, he cried while his brother kissed his eyelids and stroked his dirty hair gently.

_I won't make you die anymore, Gilbert! I promise…_

"I'm going to find some clean clothes, Ludwig," Roderich said and the younger one nodded absently taking a bucket of water next to the litter. Gilbert shook his head weakly, "you don't have to do that, West…"

"I want to do that!" Ludwig replied, "I won't let you be touched by a careless stranger!" He looked up at Roderich, the Austrian nodded closing the curtains around Gilbert's litter to give them some privacy. "Come on, bruder…" Ludwig said beginning to unbutton the albino's shirt but the Prussia shook his head again trying to grab his younger brother's wrist.

"Gilbert, don't be so stubborn!"

"You're the stubborn one between us!" Gilbert replied smiling and Ludwig smiled back tearing the dirty shirt's fabric to undress Gilbert's body without moving him too much. Ludwig immerged a clean cloth in the water and the he looked up at his brother's face, "it'll be cold."

Gilbert nodded and Ludwig placed the wet cloth against his shoulder making him jolt a little, "I'm fine…" Gilbert muttered when Ludwig stared down at him worried. The younger one nodded cleaning the right shoulder and the right arm slowly, stopping only to immerge the cloth inside the bucket full of water. Gilbert closed his eyes sighing in relief while Ludwig took care of his chest, his stomach and his other arm. Ludwig placed the cloth inside the bucket, at the end, staring at Gilbert's trousers insecurely. He decided to begin with his boots and then he took a deep breath moving at the end of the litter to open his brother's belt.

Gilbert opened his eyes, "West?" He called confused.

"Lift your hips a little, bruder."

"West, what are you doing?"

"You have wounds on your legs, as well! I have to clean them!"

Gilbert snorted and obeyed, Ludwig freed him from his trousers leaving him on the litter in all his naked glory. Gilbert wasn't shy, he had undress himself before his little brother's eyes a lot of times but it had happened inside their house, before the bath or at the end of the day. Not in a stinky tent, during a war and Gilbert hated to be the bloody mess he was right now. "I didn't want you to see me like this…" Gilbert muttered looking at the curtains around them.

Ludwig shook his head trying to not stare at his brother's naked body, "don't be ashamed of yourself…"

"Why? It's a humiliating thing!"

"No, it's not…"

"What is it?"

"A gesture of love…"

Gilbert widened his eyes staring at his baby brother, but Ludwig was too busy to take care of his legs to look back. The albino smiled happily relaxing against the litter, "Ja, it sounds good…"

Roderich came back a little later with a clean nightshirt, "It's the only thing I found…"

It didn't matter. Ludwig helped Gilbert to wear it and then he wrapped a warm blanket around his body, "Ludwig, you…" Roderich tried. "Ludwig will stay with me," Gilbert said. Roderich blinked, "but… Gilbert, your soldiers…"

"My soldiers aren't a group of sheets, they know what to do with or without me and they still have their general with them!" Gilbert didn't want to think about his little brother alone in the battlefield, he would had preferred to fight wearing only that nightshirt, instead! But Roderich sighed deeply and nodded quickly leaving the two brothers alone. "I could fight!" Ludwig replied.

"Not without me!" Gilbert exclaimed angrily resting on his side, "Lay down with me."

"I'm dirty!"

"I don't fucking care, West! Lay down and don't complain anymore!"

Ludwig moved slowly to not hurt his brother's weak body, he rested on the litter behind Gilbert wrapping an arm around his waist safely. Gilbert covered that hand with his own sighing tiredly, "don't you dare to run away after I'll fall asleep."

Ludwig smiling briefly, "never…"

* * *

><p>"West?" A gentle voice called, Ludwig grunted something in his sleep while five gentle fingers began to run through his hair, "West?" Two warm lips on his neck and the young German flinched opening his eyes. That voice giggled, those lips curled up into a smile, "West…" Gilbert called again moving closer to his little brother resting his forehead against Ludwig's one. "Gilbert?" Ludwig blinked two times, "are you fine?"<p>

The curtains around them were disappeared, the smell of blood was disappeared, too, and the litter under them had turned into a royal bed. There were only candles and silence around them, Ludwig blinked again, "what the hell…?"

"West?" Gilbert wrapped his arms around his neck pulling his little brother towards him, Ludwig looked down and widened his eyes: where was his uniform? Where was Gilbert's nightshirt? Why were they completely naked on that bed? Well… not completely naked, Gilbert was holding the blanket against his chest but his legs were free and Ludwig stared down at them while Gilbert began to kiss his neck slowly and Ludwig push him away gently staring down at his surprised face, "what are you doing, West?" He asked smiling and kissing his cheek.

"Am I dreaming?" The younger one asked and Gilbert pulled him closer kissing his lips chastely, "maybe…" Another kiss, "but it's a good dream, right?"

Ludwig was still confused and insecure, Gilbert pushed him against the mattress moving on the top of his body, the blanked fell slowly, leaving the awesome Kingdom of Prussia with nothing over him but his own pale skin. Ludwig stared up in complete awe travelling his hands over the soft thighs, "Gott…" he murmured smiling slightly, "you're so perfect, Gilbert."

Gilbert smiled leaning down to kiss him on the mouth, "and do you want me, West?"

"Ja…" Ludwig whispered wrapping his arms around his brother's body, "you don't know how long I've waited for you."

"Why did you wait?" Gilbert asked gently brushing his fingertips over his face, "I'm yours, I've always been yours, West. You have made me wait for you, too."

"I'm so sorry, Gilbert…" Ludwig grabbed his hips pushing him against the bed inverting their positions, "you're my older brother, you've taken care of me since my birth, I was too naïve to understand how much I loved you. I was so confused, I had lost myself, Gilbert… I was in love with my older brother and I was sure to be only a child for him... I was so afraid to see someone else next to you, Gilbert! No one can touch you! You're mine… you're mine only mine… you're mine…"

Ludwig wanted it to last forever, he and Gilbert alone…between Gilbert's legs, with Gilbert's arms around his neck, he and Gilbert's lips against his mouth. Ludwig and Gilbert…

Nothing more, nothing less.

Ludwig and Gilbert.

"Gilbert… Ich… Ich…"

When Ludwig opened his eyes the curtains were around them again and the smell of blood was stronger than before. It was dark and silent around them a Ludwig liked it very much, he couldn't bear to hear his soldiers' scream and cry. "It is the war, you wanted to see it. You're here now and your brother need you so stop to act like a spoiled brat…" He muttered to himself lifting his body on his right elbow to check Gilbert's condition. His older brother was serenely asleep but his usually pale cheeks were red, so red that Ludwig could notice it in the darkness clearly.

The teenager brushed his fingertips against Gilbert's face: he was warm. Ludwig sat up on the litter trying to not wake his brother up, he found the bucket where he had left it with the cloth on the edge. Ludwig reached out grabbing it and bringing it to his brother's face, Gilbert moved slightly opening his eyes slowly, "West?"

"You're burning up, bruder…" Ludwig murmured brushing the cloth against the albino's face and against the back of his neck, "better?"

Gilbert nodded.

"Why do you have fever? Your wounds look fine…"

"It's not because of the wounds…" Gilbert said smiling weakly.

"I don't understand, bruder."

"My borders…" Gilbert muttered sleepily, "they are changing…"

* * *

><p>The preliminaries of a peace treaty with Denmark were signed two days later, on 1 August 1864: their enemy renounced to all his rights in the duchies in favour of Roderich's Empire and Gilbert's Kingdom. "We did it!" Gilbert exclaimed at the end of the meeting, Ludwig smiled, "Great! Let's go home now, West! We need to rest a little and I've to write everything about our first war together."<p>

"Is it so important for you?" Ludwig asked and the Austrian next to them didn't fail to notice the light in his blue eyes.

"Important?" Gilbert laughed loudly, "it was the most awesome thing of the history until now! We can stay together on the battlefield, now. Isn't it awesome?"

"Ja, awesome…" Ludwig muttered watching Gilbert's smiling face like it was the most beautiful thing in the world, Roderich observed the scene silently until the Prussian kissed his younger brother's cheek and walked out of the room humming something and repeating the word _awesome_with every step, he sighed in relief when the door closed.

"Oh, Roderich…" Ludwig came closer to him blushing a little, "I need to thank you…" He said sincerely holding out his right hand.

"For what?" The Austrian asked staring down at that hand without touching it.

"Because I know you are not happy about my _unification _idea so… Thank you to be here."

Roderich closed his eyes sadly shaking his head slowly, he looked up at the confused teenager before him looking for the courage to talk, "did you really believe him?"

Ludwig blinked, "I'm sorry, I don't understand…"

"Do you really think that Gilbert is here for you, Ludwig?"

Ludwig froze, his expression didn't change but he held his breath for a while, "bruder is fighting to help me…"

Roderich sighed deeply "it helps Gilbert and me, it doesn't help you at all, Ludwig."

The younger one frowned staring at his formal older brother, "I've fought with you two!" He exclaimed. "Yes, my dear boy, but no one has talked about you at the end of this war," Roderich said sadly, "you're nothing for the ancient kingdoms or empires of Europe, Ludwig. You're my and Gilbert's propriety. It wasn't for your, it was to make us, your guardians, stronger," a pause, "and it makes you weaker…"

Ludwig shook his head slowly, "this is my plan to create a new German Empire, Österreich!" He exclaimed angrily, "what are you trying to do? You want to make me believe that Gilbert is pretending to help me when he is fighting only for himself, right?"

"Exactly, Ludwig…"

"It's a lie…"

Roderich lowered his eyes nodding with a deadly serious expression on his face, "and your feelings for Gilbert aren't a lie, right?"

Ludwig widened his blue eyes taking a step back terrified, "I don't know what are you talking about…" He tried.

"You're so young, you're so impulsive and honest. Gilbert is probably the only one that doesn't understand, yet!"

"Gilbert didn't have to know!"

"Oh… so it is true."

Ludwig could barely breath, his heart was exploding, his hands were shaking, he wanted to run but something was blocking him.

"You continue to believe him because of your feelings for him. They don't make you see the clear truth."

"Gilbert isn't using me!" Ludwig said firmly, "he is using you to betray you later, it's different!"

Roderich laughed briefly, "you have fought against me and Gilbert has abandoned you because his King was afraid of me. What make you think that it will be different this time?"

Ludwig lost his firmness for a while, he stared down at the pavement trying to find a good answer, a good reason to justify Gilbert's words and deny Roderich's ones. "He made me a promise…" It was childish, stupid, irrational, but it was the only thing he had. Roderich shook his head again, "you were a smart child, Ludwig, I was proud of you but you had let the devil seduce you like everyone else…"

Ludwig's heart skipped a beat, "who?"

"A lot of men… nations and human…"

* * *

><p>Ludwig didn't know how long he walked around the city's street, he didn't stop even when it began to rain, he wanted to cry but he felt empty, like a broken doll. He didn't feel the cold or his wet clothes, he felt nothing but the emptiness. It was night when he reached the palace that had become their house during those months of war. It wasn't a familiar place but Ludwig's feet knew where they had to go, the emptiness disappeared only when he opened a bedroom's door finding Gilbert sat on the edge of the bed with a terrified expression on his face, "Ludwig?"<p>

Not West, Ludwig…

"Ludwig?" He called again standing up and coming closer, "where the hell you were?" He almost shouted grabbing his younger brother's arms, Ludwig didn't react. It hurt very much…

"You were walking under the rain, West?" Gilbert pulled him inside making him sit on a chair next to the fireplace, "you've to undress…" the older one muttered bending down to take his jacket off. It hurt very much… too much…

"Don't touch me!" Ludwig shouted pushing Gilbert's hands away. "We-West?" Gilbert called surprised.

"And stop to call me like this! I'm not a child anymore!"

"West…"

"Stop it, I said."

"Ludwig!" Gilbert shouted back at the end, "what the hell is wrong with you, now? I was at the tavern with our men, we wanted celebrate our first victory together but no one knows where you were… you've scared me!"

Ludwig sent him a venomous gaze, "_your_ men, _your_ celebration, _your_victory!"

Gilbert frowned, "what the hell are you talking about?" He came closer to touch his shoulder but Ludwig flinched, "I'm nothing for the Europe, right?"

"Now… but very soon…"

"I'm nothing for you, right?"

Gilbert froze, he widened his eyes in disbelief, "after all I've done for you…"

"You've taken for yourself a new territory!" Ludwig replied standing up and throwing the wet jacked on the pavement, "you're stronger and I'm weaker. There is nothing for me in your plan, right?"

Gilbert blinked, "did you talk with Roderich?"

"It doesn't matter…" Ludwig growled stopping before the great window of the room, "it doesn't matter!"

"That man is a piece of shirt, Ludwig!" Gilbert shouted walking towards him, "you're doubting me because of him! I… I… Where the hell was he during the last half-century? He used your land, he used you while I…"

"While you did the same," Ludwig finished turning towards him, "I'm alive, it can be dangerous to give power to me, right? But it's so good to have a territory to use, right?"

"You're delirious, West!" Gilbert tried to turn around but Ludwig grabbed his wrist pushing him against the wall, "I'm stronger than you physically, my dear bruder," he said coldly, his blue eyes were empty. "Ludwig, what's wrong with you?" Gilbert asked again firmly without trying to free himself, "Prussia has used your land, it's true! But I was there when you were crying, I was there when you were afraid of something! I've taken care of you! I loved you… I love you…"

Ludwig bit his lower lip closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Gilbert's one tiredly, the albino took his face in his hands sighing deeply, "welcome back…"

"He said you're using me."

"He is a bastard!" Gilbert kissed his forehead.

"He is in love with you…" Gilbert's heart skipped a beat, he looked up, Ludwig looked back, he opened his mouth but he didn't have the time to talk, "and he is not the only one…"

Ludwig bent down slowly, Gilbert pressed his back against the wall, they didn't stop to look at each other. _Why don't you stop me?_ Their nose touched and Ludwig stopped, _why don't you stop me, bruder?_ Gilbert stared at him confused, _we're are brothers… we can't be lovers, you've to stop me! It doesn't matter how much I want it, it's wrong! It's wrong, Gilbert!_Ludwig held his breath for a while, he tried to recompose himself but when he tried to turn around he found Gilbert's hand on his cheek.

"Kiss me…"

It was a dream, it had to be a dream.

"Kiss me…"

It couldn't… be… real…

Leaning in, before Ludwig had the chance to protest, Gilbert pressed his lips against Ludwig's, fisting the hair at the back of his head with one hand, pressing his palm firmly against his chest. The younger one didn't react for a while wrapping his arms around Gilbert's body holding him closer deepening the contact between their mouths sucking Gilbert's lower lip gently. The albino opened his mouth slightly making their tongues met half-way and wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck.

They continued to touch each other passionately and hesitantly at the same time, everything was so new, so forbidden, so damned beautiful! They stopped only when they found themselves out of air. Ludwig was into a trance, he held Gilbert closer to his chest while the Prussian brushed his fingertips against his owns lips.

"No one have to touch you but me," Ludwig murmured between Gilbert's hair.

"I don't belong to anyone, Ludwig. You know it," Gilbert replied grinning against his little brother's shoulder. Ludwig grabbed his chin forcing him to look up at him, Gilbert's arrogant expression was still there at its place. He smiled, "at the end of this story you will be mine, in a way or another…" He whispered against Gilbert's lips.

* * *

><p><em>[1945]<em>

"Louise, watch out!" Ludwig exclaimed grabbing his child under her arms. Gilbert laughed holding his knees against his chest, "relax, West! If she'll lose her balance, she'll fall inside the water!"

"You are the one inside the tub, you can hold her!" Ludwig replied annoyed while Louise sneezed two times and her father widened his eyes, "okay, out! Out! You are all clean now, stop to play with the water!" Ludwig turned around to take a towel and Gilbert reached out to brush back his child's wet hair, "you're Papa's little copy like this!"

"Stand up, Louise!" Ludwig said and the girl obeyed allowing her father to wrap the towel around her body and lift her up, "Gilbert, you will catch a cold…"

"West, you're her father, not mine!" Gilbert exclaimed annoyed resting his arms on the tub's edge staring at his lover while he dried their baby girl gently, "Papa, it's cold!" Louise exclaimed when Ludwig throw her towel away, the German smiled kissing her cheek, "be patient, little one!" He took her in his arms again moving her on the table.

Gilbert sighed deeply stepping out of the tub and taking another towel to dry himself. Ludwig turned around slightly staring at Gilbert's naked body while Louise tried to button up her shirt all alone, the older one didn't notice his gaze continuing what he was doing almost absently. Ludwig smiled slightly: Gilbert was beautiful just like he remember him. They hadn't touched each other for six years and Ludwig had to admit that he missed that body against his own very much.

They hadn't made love for six years, it sounded like a stupid thing, now.

"I've done, Papa! I've done!" Louise exclaimed happily and Ludwig looked at her again, "very good, little one! Lift your legs…" He buttoned up her little skirt and then he moved her down on the pavement. Gilbert was wrapping a towel around his waist. Ludwig watched down at his daughter another time: Louise had seen his uniform's hat and she was focusing on it. He caressed her short hair gently and then he walked closer to his lover. Gilbert didn't turn around and Louise was too busy to play with her father's hat to look at them.

Gilbert stiffened when he felt two familiar hands on his hips and two familiar lips against his neck, "I miss you…" A familiar warm voice whispered right in his ear. Gilbert smiled, "there is your daughter inside this room…"

"She is training…"

They both turned around to see their little angel while she tried to not make the uniform's hat fall over her blue eyes, "she will surpass you very soon!" Gilbert said giggling.

"Of course! She's your daughter, too," Ludwig said frustrated and kissed Gilbert's cheek holding him against his chest, "I miss you…"

"You're repeating yourself, West."

"It's the truth…"

"The Aryan girls weren't enough for you, were they?" Gilbert asked venomously and Ludwig stared down at him, "I've not been with anyone else…"

"Sure!" Gilbert said sarcastically pushing him away and wearing his shirt.

Ludwig frowned, "Gilbert, I'm serious!"

"I am, too," Gilbert replied sending him a cold gaze, "you were too busy to play the dark lord's role, right?"

"I'm saying to you that I miss to… to…" Ludwig looked at their daughter lowering his voice, "I miss to make love with you, I miss to feel alive, I miss to feel human."

Gilbert shook his head kneeling down to pull up his trousers, "I didn't miss you, at all!"

Ludwig sighed deeply smiling slightly.

"I'm serious!" The albino added seeing his expression, "I was fucking happy during my lonely and cold nights…"

"Language! You're in front of our child!"

"And I was fucking happy when I turned around to touch you but I found only an untouched pillow next to me."

"Gilbert…" Ludwig wrapped his arms around his older brother's waist and Gilbert grabbed his hands, "I didn't miss you at all…" Gilbert repeated but his voice was shaking and Ludwig held him closer. "Mama?" They looked down at the baby girl in front of them, the hat was still on her head and her blue eyes were full of sadness. Gilbert shook his head quickly trying to smile again. "No, no, Louise…" He murmured taking her in his arms, "Mama was thinking about how much he missed Papa, but it's alright," He kissed her cheek sweetly, "because Papa is here with me and you now, my little princess."

Louise pouted, "I'm not a princess!" She fussed grabbing the big hat on her head with both her hands, "I'm a soldier like Papa and Mama!"

Ludwig's smile disappeared, Gilbert frowned. They looked at each other for a while, Gilbert was the first one to laugh.

"Mama!"

"You're right! You're right, love!" Gilbert said cuddling her a little more, "it's our fault, I guess…"

"She couldn't be a little capricious girl," Ludwig commented caressing his child's hair.

"Sure! Because I'm an awesome Mama, right baby girl?" Gilbert asked pressing his forehead against his daughter's, Louise laughed happily while Gilbert kissed her once, twice, three times, "and you're my awesome little soldier girl and you're so awesome thanks to me and the awesome me alone, ja!"

Ludwig snorted, "If I remember correctly we were two…"

Gilbert pouted, "but I've done the hardest part of the work, my dear West!"

"And you've done it awesomely…" Ludwig murmured staring at their little child who could barely look back at him because of that hat but Louise smiled anyway and the blond looked at his lover with that expression of gratitude that Gilbert had seen on his face since their baby girl's birth. He smiled, "Like always, West! Like always…"

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>_Hello girls! This is the second chapter with the start of the the scond story-line. Something about Roderich: he barely appears here but he will be be importat very soon and what Ludwig said about he being in love with Gilbert it's not a delirious thing!_

We have a first kiss, yes! But Ludwig and Gilbert's love story won't be so easy like it looks right now, be ready for the angst very soon! And, like someone made me notice, if Louise is born at the start of the German Empire, Ludwig had to be a very young father... it will be another important thing very soon U.U!

Reviews make me very happy, leave me one if you have something to say and **thanks **to the reviewers, readers of the first chapter! See you soon!

**History-Notes:**

-1848: the **Revolutions of 1848 in the German states**, were a series of loosely coordinated protests and rebellions in the states of the German Confederation. They demonstrated the popular desire for increased political freedom, liberal state policies, democracy, nationalism, and freedom from censorship. In the end, the conservative aristocracy defeated it, forcing many liberals into exile.

-1849: German unification had been one of the major objectives during the widespread revolutions of 1848–49 In April 1849, the Frankfurt Parliament offered the title of Emperor to the Prussian king Friedrich Wilhelm IV. The Prussian king, fearing the opposition of the other German princes and the military intervention of Austria and Russia, refused to accept this popular mandate. Thus, the Frankfurt Parliament ended in failure for the German liberals.

**-1862: on 23 September 1862, Otto von Bismarck becomes Minister-President and Foreign Minister. **

**-1864: **Second Schleswig War,** Denmark fought Prussia and Austria, it was fought for control of the duchies because of succession disputes concerning the duchies of Holstein and Lauenburg.**


	3. We Weren't In Love

**_[...We Weren't In Love]_**

Ludwig was right, Arthur Kirkland loved children.

"Louise? I've a surprise for you…"

It didn't matter if that child was his enemy's one.

"This is yours, right?"

Louise looked up at the smiling man, he was holding a little puppet, a red-eyed white rabbit. Her blue eyes shone, "it's Fritzi!" She exclaimed happily taking the toy in her arms hugging it like a dear old friend. Arthur knelt down, "its name is Fritz, it's a good name!"

Louise shook her head, "it's not Fritz, it's not a boy! It's Fritzi, it's a girl!"

"Oh…" Arthur nodded, "I see…"

Louise sat on the carpet again holding the puppet against her chest, she blushed lowering her face, "thank you very much, Arthur."

Alfred giggled reaching out to caress the child's hair, "you're so cute, little one!"

"Angleterre is very cute when he acts like a lovely mother," Francis replied smiling up at his lover. Arthur blushed sending him an embarrassed and angry gaze, "shut the hell up, you frog!"

"Mon Amour!" Francis exclaimed looking down at the girl, "we're in front of a lady."

Arthur became redder turning towards Louise and forcing a smile, "I'm sorry, child," he said gently holding out his hand, Louise grabbed it standing up, "it's not a problem, Mama speaks in the same way sometimes. Papa scolds him when he did it but I know that I don't have to say those words."

"You're so polite," Arthur commented glaring at Alfred who was sitting on a chair with his feet on the table, "I've completely failed, your parents have been very good with you," he added frustratingly lifting the girl in his arms to make her sit on the table's edge. Louise smiled proudly, "because Mama is awesome and Papa is the best Papa of the world!"

The Allies' smile died quickly but no one dared to say something: that child didn't deserve to suffer anymore. "Louise?" Alfred called, "when is your birthday? I mean… do you know when you are born exactly?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "she is very smart, Alfred, differently from you."

"I didn't even know about her before the Great War!" Alfred tried to justify himself, "and she wasn't so much younger than now, I'm only curious…"

"Papa and Mama said that I'm born at the start of their Empire," Louise explained looking at the American young man, "it has been in 1871, Mama and Papa were still fighting to unite their territories."

Francis snorted, "oui, I remember those years very well!"

"Don't act like a child, you've always been a loser!" Arthur replied but Alfred shook his head, "I'm sorry, little one, I didn't understand… Was Gilbert knocked up with you before the foundation of the German Empire?"

Louise frowned confused, "what does _knocked up_mean?" She asked looking up at Arthur, he smiled running his fingers between her blond hair, "It is when a Mama has a baby inside her… his… its belly."

Louise nodded, "ja, I was inside my Mama's belly before the start of the German Empire."

"I remember that, as well!" Francis exclaimed with a smile, "Gilbert didn't fight the French-Prussian war because of the baby. Your Mama didn't want to hurt you, little one!"

Alfred frowned, "I'm a little confused…"

"It's not a news…" Arthur sighed deeply.

"Seriously!" Alfred looked at the Brit and then at the older blond right in front of him, "you're trying to say that Ludwig was a teen when he has become a father?" Francis stared at the ceiling thinking about it for a while, "He was seventeen if I remember correctly…"

"What?"

Louise held her puppet closer, "is it a bad thing?" She asked worried and confused at the same time, Arthur smiled gently, "no, little one, Alfred is a little stupid but you ignore him and everything will be alright!"

"Language, Arthur!" Alfred said sarcastically.

"I don't accept it from you!" Arthur replied hastily as someone opened the kitchen's door. Everyone stopped to speak when Ivan Braginski smiled at them, "good evening, my friends!" He exclaimed friendly, Alfred snorted and Arthur glared at him silently as the Russian came closer the them, "oh, we've our little lady with us!" The Brit stiffened when he saw that big hand on Louise's head, "why aren't you with your Mama and Papa?" Ivan asked with a smile.

Louise pushed that big hand away sending a cold gaze to the Russian and Arthur took advantage of it to lift the child in his arms protectively, "she isn't a real prisoner, she doesn't have to spend her entire time inside a cell," the Brit explained. Ivan nodded without stopping to smile, "da, it's very good to see you three act like the perfect babysitters while our enemy is free to do what he wants."

Francis snorted, "don't be paranoid, Ivan. Ludwig is where he has to be, he's helping us to find those bastards and you're making him pay, aren't you?"

Ivan continued to stare at Louise, "he is not suffering enough…"

Arthur held the child closer and Alfred and Francis stood up at the same time, "don't act like you're a poor innocent victim, Ivan," Alfred said, "Ludwig is paying but he wasn't alone that day in Poland…"

Ivan's expression turned dark, "Ludwig is paying but we allow him to stay alone with Gilbert, right?"

"Oh, please!" Arthur snorted, "we're in front of their child, for God's sake!"

Louise continued to glare at Ivan but the Russian smiled down at her, "the child doesn't have to stay here," he said almost innocently. "Oui! Oui! We can give her to an house for war's orphans!" Francis exclaimed sarcastically, "the child doesn't have to pay!"

"But if we have to punish her parents, we have to protect her, right?"

Arthur frowned, "we don't have to punish Gilbert, he is here only because our bosses want it."

"He was a part of the Nazi Germany, no one knows what he did and what he didn't during the war!"

"We all know!" Francis replied trying to defend his old friend, "he was in the resistance, he has left Berlin… no, he has left Germany before the end of the war! He is not different from Feliciano for me!"

"I've to agree," Arthur said and Alfred nodded silently. Ivan just continued to smile, "it wasn't a public thing, my friends," he said, "Feliciano has signed an armistice, Gilbert has left his house like a common citizen, it was a private thing, it doesn't safe him as a nation."

"Why are you saying that?" Francis asked shaking his head slowly, "we all know your feelings for him, why are you acting against him?"

Ivan tilted his head, "I don't know what you're talking about," he lied without stopping to smile, "but your bosses are doing exactly what I need and…" he came closer to Arthur brushing his fingertips against Louise's cheek, the girl hid her face against the Brit's shoulder, "… I don't want to make this child see what's going to happen to her family."

* * *

><p>Gilbert closed his eyes tiredly, a smile bloomed on his lips while he ran his fingers between Ludwig's blond hair, "it was awesome, West!" He exclaimed proudly kissing his lover's temple. Ludwig nuzzled his face against his neck smiling gently he tried to move but Gilbert blocked him wrapping his legs around his waist another time, "nein…" he murmured maliciously when Ludwig looked down at him confused, "I spent years trying to not forget this feeling," the albino wrapped his arms around his little brother's neck pulling him down, "I want to feel you inside me a little longer."<p>

Ludwig nodded kissing his brother slowly, sweetly, "I've hurt you at the start, I'm sorry," he murmured sincerely against those soft lips, Gilbert shook his head sucking the blonde's lower lip gently, "I can forgive you when you are still able to make me feel so good!"

"I'm glad…"

"I'm happy," Gilbert admitted, "I missed this place, it's awesome here…" He closed his eyes resting his legs on the bed allowing Ludwig to move next to him. "Where?" Ludwig asked confused pulling Gilbert against his chest, the albino smiled placing a kiss over his little brother's heart. _In your arms, West…_

"It's a secret of the awesome me!" He giggled and Ludwig rested a kiss between his light hair, "but I miss our old bed very much! I loved when we made love and then we got dressed to stare at our sleeping child for the rest of the night."

"We'll do it again a day, I promise…" Ludwig murmured. Gilbert shook his head tiredly looking up at him, "don't make me promises anymore, West, please," he said coming closer to his lover, "stay with me, stay with Louise, what will happen tomorrow it's not our business, yet."

Ludwig made a face, "you said it that morning, too."

"When?" Gilbert frowned.

Ludwig shook his head stroking his lover's back slowly, absently, "it's not important…"

Arthur made them call one hour later, the two Germans didn't understand and Ludwig began to be worried about their daughter but, when he asked, the soldiers didn't answer and Gilbert grabbed his hand quickly, "Louise is fine, West," he said smiling optimistically, "she is with Arthur and Francis, they aren't going to hurt her, calm down."

Ludwig nodded, he had always been the paranoid parent, Gilbert had never been anxious with their child and it was a good thing because it made Louise felt safe. Ludwig was able to see dangerous things everywhere and it wasn't good at all, he wanted to protect his child from the entire world but… but… at the end the bigger danger in her life had been him.

Gilbert stiffened next to him when the soldiers led them inside a little room where Francis and Arthur were waiting for them. Ludwig looked all around them in panic and Gilbert did the same thing, "where is Louise?" The younger one asked worriedly but a brief smile compared on Arthur's face, "your daughter is with Alfred, he is very good with children, don't worry."

"Why isn't she here?" Gilbert asked. No, he wasn't the paranoid parent but he didn't like to not know where his daughter precisely was while a psychopathic Russian could kidnap her right before their eyes. "We have to talk with you about her," Francis exclaimed gently, "but it's better if she doesn't hear us."

Gilbert stared at Ludwig, Ludwig stared back nodding slightly and they sat on the two chairs right in front of the table.

"I will be direct," Arthur said staring at them intensely, "Louise is a good child, seriously! But this place isn't good for her."

Gilbert widened his eyes squeezing Ludwig's hand, "my daughter is fine where me and her father are," he replied calmly.

"I know what you're thinking Gilbert, but…"

"You're not going to take my daughter away from us!" Gilbert shouted and Ludwig squeezed his hand harder, "stay calm, Gilbert…" he muttered and the albino sent him a cold gaze, "do you agree with them, West?" He asked angrily. "No!" Ludwig replied firmly, "I don't want to lose Louise after six years without you and her but you've to stay calm!" He turned towards the two allies, "if it is a punishment for me, take Gilbert and Louise to a safer place but you can't take her away from both of us."

Gilbert widened his eyes in disbelief, "you're leaving us again, West…"

"Nein!" Ludwig exclaimed looking at his lover, "but Louise needs one of us and I can't come out of this place! Try to understand, bruder…"

"Gilbert can't leave," Arthur said darkly and the two Germans stopped to argue. "What are you saying?" Ludwig asked confused, "he knows nothing about the Nazis, he is useless for you!"

"He was officially part of your territory during the war, Ludwig," Francis exclaimed, "we wanted to consider him like Feliciano but Gilbert has abandoned you without a public proclamation."

Gilbert was holding his breath and Ludwig didn't fail to notice it, "what are you trying to say?"

Francis closed his eyes sighing deeply, he didn't like to say that, "he is considered guilty just like you, Ludwig."

The younger blond widened his eyes in disbelief, "it can't be possible."

"I'm sorry, Ludwig…"

"He has betrayed be before the end of the war!"

"Gilbert has betrayed you, not Prussia. It was a personal thing."

Gilbert took a deep breath trying to stay calm, "West…"

"Nein!" Ludwig exclaimed, "you're not going to pay because of me, our daughter isn't going to pay because of me!"

Gilbert tried to ignore his little brother's eyes, he looked up at the allies firmly, "you want to take Louise away from this place because you don't want to make her see both her parents destroyed, right?"

Francis decided to not answer, Arthur nodded, "we don't know what will happen tomorrow but… It probably will not be good for your child to see."

"But…!"

"Shut up, West!" Gilbert shouted without taking his eyes off of the allies' faces, "you aren't going to punish my daughter, right?" Arthur shook his head quickly, "absolutely, Gilbert. We will never touch her, never."

Ludwig was trembling, "Gilbert…?"

"Can we talk about who will take care of our daughter from now on, please?" Gilbert wasn't the arrogant Prussia anymore, he couldn't be arrogant when it was about his daughter's life and happiness. With or without them. Arthur and Francis nodded leaving the two Germans alone in the little room. "You aren't serious, right?" Ludwig asked kneeling before his brother's chair, Gilbert looked down smirking and nodding at the same time.

"But you're innocent, Gilbert!" Ludwig exclaimed. "I know that!" Gilbert replied, "you know that! They know that but the world doesn't and it will never do!"

"Gilbert our daughter need one of us, at least!" Ludwig replied desperately, "you've a been an orphan, do you want to leave Louise alone?"

"Of course, I don't want!" Gilbert exclaimed, he wanted to cry but he was too proud to do it, "but if they will decide to do something to us, I don't want to have Louise next to us to see it! I see our father and the Holy Roman Empire die, I'm not going to make my child see the same thing if it has to happen!"

"Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise!" Ludwig said hysterically taking Gilbert's hand in his owns, "they won't touch you!"

"Stop to make prom…"

"I promise! I promise! I promise!" Ludwig exclaimed kissing that hand, "I promise!"

"We can't protect each other in this fucking situation."

"I will try anyway…"

"West…" The blond rested his cheek against Gilbert's lap and the albino began to caress his hair slowly, "we have to think about Louise, now."

Ludwig nodded, "I was thinking about Feliciano…"

"Me too but he is not much better than us right now and he has a child like me and you…"

Ludwig looked up at him, "there is another person I'm thinking about…"

"Who?" Gilbert tilted his head.

"You will not like it…"

* * *

><p><em>[1864]<em>

Ludwig was surprisingly happy when he woke up that morning, so happy that he found a brief smile on his lips and a warm body in his arms. Gilbert' back was pressed against his chest, both of them were still dressed with the clothes of the previous day but Ludwig didn't care: he had opened his eyes and he had found Gilbert next to him, it was the most wonderful day of his young life.

He rose himself on his elbow staring down at his brother's profile: someone said that they have the same nose and it was right but someone else said that they have the same mouth, too. Ludwig wasn't so sure about that because when he had touched those lips with his owns they had tasted like heaven and it wasn't a very common thing, he guessed. Ludwig turned towards the big window right in front of the bed: it was a sunny day, it looked almost symbolic.

He thought about his empty bedroom at the end of the corridor, he hoped that Roderich didn't go to wake him up: he didn't want to justify his absence so early in the morning, especially not when he had slept in his brother's bed. Yes, without undressing himself but it was always his brother's bed! One of his forbidden desires!

"West…?"

He looked down, two red eyes stared up at him sleepily and Ludwig blushed deeply without knowing the reason: they had slept together, yes but they had done it during the blonde's childhood, too! The real embarrassing thing was what had happened between them the previous night. Yes! It was only a kiss but it was Ludwig's first kiss and he had kissed his older brother and… Ludwig's thought's stopped when Gilbert sighed deeply turning around to hid his face against his chest, he held his breath.

"Light…" Gilbert muttered grabbing his shirt's fabric blindly.

"We've to get dressed, bruder…" Ludwig murmured trying to sound calm and relaxed.

"We've already dressed, West," Gilbert growled something else coming closer to his little brother, "cold…"

Ludwig nodded wrapping his arms around Gilbert's body awkwardly, the Prussian smiled happily, "it's better now…"

"Are you going to fall asleep again?" Ludwig asked a little annoyed. Yes! He liked to stay with Gilbert in that way but Roderich was surely looking for them all around the palace and he wanted to come back to Berlin where they could be completely alone for the entire time talking about the Empire, talking about the next step, talking about them, kissing… Yes, kissing!

"I want a good morning kiss!" Gilbert exclaimed moving on his back waiting for something to happen, Ludwig sighed deeply: his older brother always wanted a good morning and a good night kiss since his childhood. He bent down placing a quick kiss on his cheek and Gilbert opened his eyes immediately, "What was that?"

Ludwig shrugged, " a good morning kiss…"

Gilbert snorted and rolled his eyes, "you brat…" he murmured, Ludwig tried to reply but his older brother wrapped his arms around his neck pulling him down to kiss him passionately on the lips. At the start, Ludwig stiffened but then he closed his eyes resting a hand against his brother's cheek kissing back with the same enthusiasm. Gilbert smiled against his lips and Ludwig pulled him up making them sat on the mattress: their arms were around each other's body.

Gilbert moved his hands between Ludwig's hair spreading his legs to sit on his lap, his hands went down resting on Ludwig's chest where the shirt was unbuttoned, they slid under the fabric touching the muscular chest beneath it. He almost moaned: his little brother had become so virile, so strong…

Someone knocked on the door, they stopped looking at each other confusingly like they had just woken up from a good dream. "Gilbert?" Roderich's voice called from behind the door and Ludwig blushed deeply again but Gilbert didn't move while he talked: "what do you want?" He asked buttoning up Ludwig's shirt completely.

"I'm looking for Ludwig, I can't find him."

"He is still out, probably," Gilbert said smirking and kissing his little brother's lips another time but Ludwig pushed him against the pillows to stop him, "he is right out of the door, Gilbert," he whispered. The Prussian giggled, "try to image his face if he find us like this."

"It won't be funny!"

Gilbert pulled his little brother over him tangling their legs together, "ja, it will be…" he murmured against his lips.

"Gilbert? Gilbert, are you still here?"

The albino snorted, "Ludwig is with the younger soldiers, probably, stop to babble and make me sleep!" He exclaimed annoyed. Out of the door, Roderich sighed deeply muttering something about Gilbert's irresponsibility.

"We're safe…" Gilbert tried to kiss Ludwig again but the blond didn't look so amused, "come on, West! I knew what I was doing!"

"He was going to find us together."

"Is it a real problem?" Gilbert asked maliciously looking up at him, "he has already found out, right?"

"He has found out about me, not about us!" Ludwig exclaimed moving to rest his back on the mattress, "there wasn't still a _us_when we've talked."

Gilbert smiled gently resting his cheek against his brother's chest. "I'm happy there is one, now!"

Ludwig stared at the threes outside of the window, "I was so afraid to be rejected."

Gilbert giggled, "say me a thing, do you see yourself ultimately? No one will ever be able to reject you, my little perfect beby brother."

"It was the real problem…"

"What?"

"I'm your little brother."

Gilbert widened his eyes like he hadn't thought about it until now but he just shrugged sighing deeply, "it's not a problem."

Ludwig frowned, "How can you say that?"

Gilbert pouted, "a lot of brothers and sisters fuck with each other secretly if they are nations, you know?"

"No… no, I… I didn't know…" Ludwig felt strange but he didn't know the reason: Gilbert was too calm, too natural, like he had always known his little brother's feelings for him. "Well… it's not a very problem if you want to fuck with your awesome older brother: you're so beautiful, my beloved West," Gilbert moved on top of him bending down to kiss his neck, Ludwig stiffened, "No one has touched you, yet. Right?"

"S-Shut u-up, bruder!" Ludwig said a little angry. Yes! He was a virgin! Yes! He didn't like to know that Gilbert wasn't at all!

"So cute…" Gilbert giggled unbuttoning his brother's shirt again moving his mouth to the younger one's collarbone, Ludwig grabbed his shoulders pushing him away, "what the hell are you doing?" He shouted and Gilbert widened his eyes in surprise, "I'm trying to have sex, West!" He pouted again, Ludwig hated that childish expression.

"I don't want!" Ludwig exclaimed and Gilbert tilted his head confused, "What?"

"I don't want to fuck you! Why don't you understand?"

Gilbert thought about it for a while and then he moved away quickly like he realized only now what he was doing, "are you serious?" The albino asked sitting on the end of the big bed, Ludwig didn't understand, "are you serious, West?" Gilbert looked confused, surprised like he had understood something in the wrong way.

Ludwig was silent again.

Gilbert laughed, "Oh Gott! I've been an idiot, my little adorable West!" A pause "you can't be in love with me!" It hurt. It almost killed the poor teenager who held his breath trying to not faint here and now. It hurt too much!

"West…" Gilbert had turned into the good older brother again, the malice was disappeared completely, "you're so young, West, you don't know what love is. I've been an idiot, I was sure you wanted to taste a lot of my awesomeness during a hot round of sex but…"

_Shut up, you're killing me._

"I thought that you felt attracted to me and you wanted to…" Gilbert shook his head snorting and then he tried to touch his face, "I've been an idiot, my little West is too sweet to do it so easily."

_You're killing me! How can you be so calm while you kill me?_

Ludwig pushed that hand away, Gilbert froze, they stared at each other. "You wanted to fuck me…" Ludwig muttered, his heart was going to explode, "I was stopping myself, yesterday. You've convinced me to kiss you, you wanted to fuck me!"

Gilbert's expression turned dark, he lowered his gaze, "you've kissed back."

"Because I was sure you loved me!"

"I love you…" Gilbert whispered, "I love you with all my heart, West, you're my baby brother."

"I don't want to be only your baby brother!"

"But I couldn't be your first love!"

"Why?"

"Because it isn't fair! I don't love you as a lover and you only think to love me but it's only a phase," Gilbert exclaimed, "I kissed you only because you've started everything, I didn't want to touch you but you were so close, I see that light in your eyes and I… I… I kissed you, that's it!"

_You didn't understand…_

"You were thinking that I was acting like a horny teenager, right?" Ludwig asked in disbelief.

"I've been an idiot," Gilbert admitted smiling, he didn't look worried or sorry at all, " but you're seventeen, I've been with you since the start of your life. I wasn't thinking about how much you are sensible, I wasn't thinking that you are not an adult unprejudiced man. It's just that… you're a beautiful young man and you looked so happy to fuck with me, so…"

_Stop to talk about it like it is just a common mistake, you're hurting me!_

Ludwig wanted to cry, he wanted to punch Gilbert, he wanted to hurt him badly. He hated him, he hated him!

"West…" Gilbert wasn't smiling anymore.

He was crying, he was crying like a loser.

"I loved you…"

"No! No!" Gilbert came closer taking his little brother's face between his hands, he was smiling again "you've to say it to the right person…"

"You're the right person…"

"West…" Gilbert sighed deeply.

"I loved you… I loved you… and you were thinking about me only like a sex adventure to get an orgasm."

"It's not true, West. I didn't understand, that's it…" Gilbert sounded cheerful, "come on, stop to cry! I know it's embarrassing but it's okay to fall in love with the awesome me. It will go away quickly and you'll find a good boy or girl to love properly."

"Stay away from me…"

"I stole your first kiss, eh? A day we will laugh rethinking about this day… What did you say, West?"

"Stay away from me!" Ludwig pushed his brother away, Gilbert fell on the mattress. Everything froze for a while and then Ludwig stood up running out of the room. Gilbert stared at the open door without really seeing it, "Seriously, West?" He asked to the empty room, "I'm an idiot…"

* * *

><p><em>[1945]<em>

Ludwig and Gilbert were sitting on the edge of their cell's only bed when Arthur took their daughter to them.

Louise smiled brightly running to them and Ludwig took her in his arms smiling back, "hi, baby girl…" He hugged and kissed her. "Papa! Mama! Look, it's Fritzi!" Louise exclaimed showing the puppet to her parents while Gilbert stared at Arthur who nodded slowly closing the reinforced door of the cell. "Love…" The albino called sweetly and Louise turned towards him resting her cheek against her father's chest, "love, Mama and Papa have to say something very important to you."

"What, Mama?"

Gilbert opened his mouth but he bit his lower lip closing his eyes for a while, when he opened them again he was looking at Ludwig, the blond looked back and then he smiled down at his beloved child but he had never been able to lie to his daughter and his brother. "Why are you smiling if you don't want, Papa?" Louise asked worriedly touching her father's face. Ludwig sighed deeply placing a kiss on his daughter's forehead, "Louise, you will live in another place for a while, sweetheart."

Louise frowned confused looking at her mother, "Mama?" She didn't want to believe what her parents were trying to say but she was too smart. She was like her father and she had already understood everything. "Mama?" Louise almost sobbed, her blue eyes were full of tears. Ludwig hold her closer kissing her cheek and she lifted her eyes on him, "Papa?"

"Come here, sweetheart," Gilbert muttered taking the child in his arms, "you won't understand but it is to protect you, my awesome baby girl," The albino rested his forehead against the little girl's one, "can you come with me?" Louise asked while the tears rolled down her red cheeks, "Mama! Papa! Please…"

"My love," Gilbert said holding her against his chest, "my little precious love," Louise cried against his shoulder grabbing his shirt's fabric and the albino placed some kiss between her golden hair. Ludwig stood up walking around the room like a beast inside its cage. "West?" Gilbert called holding out a hand, "West, calm down…"

"I can't be calm, now!"

"Papa?" Louise turned towards him and Ludwig stopped to walk: his daughter was crying desperately and it was his fault, again. "Papa…" Louise sobbed. Gilbert closed his eyes sighing deeply and resting his forehead against his daughter's temple, he wanted to cry too but it wasn't awesome, he have to be strong for his child, he have to be strong for West, too. His little brother would had done everything to make Louise stay with one of them and Gilbert had to look awesome or no one of them would had found the courage to let their little one go.

"Don't you love me anymore?" Louise asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

Ludwig shook his head quickly kneeling before the bed, "no… No, Louise!"

Gilbert kissed her all over her wet face, "you don't have to say it," another kiss, "you don't have to say it anymore, my baby girl!"

"But… But… Papa was back, at the end! We can stay together forever, now!"

"Louise…" The child looked down at Ludwig, "Papa has done a lot of bad things and he has to be punished. I've involved Mama in this bad thing and it's my fault if he can't take care of you anymore…"

Gilbert sighed deeply, "West…"

"Papa have to stay here to protect Mama, you've just to be patient, little one, and then we'll have another beautiful big house and then… but only then, sweetheart, we will be able to be together forever."

"Can't I protect Mama with you?"

Gilbert smiled slightly, "Mama is awesome, he doesn't need to be protected but he can protect you and Papa with his awesomeness," he placed a sweet kiss on his daughter's cheek for the hundredth time cuddling her against his chest, "you don't know how much we love you, Louise."

"It's true…" Ludwig murmured forcing a smile.

Louise looked calmer, she stopped to cry but her little back was still shaking a little because of the sobs, "a big house... it's not important, Papa. A little house is better so we can stay closer to each other."

Gilbert laughed and Ludwig sat next to them again wrapping his arms around his family, the albino rested his head against his shoulder and Louise moved between them and closed her eyes feeling the warmth of her parents surround her one last time.

* * *

><p><em>[1864]<em>

Gilbert hated balls, they were so boring and so useless and he was always forced to stay silent to not make his King feel ashamed of him. He couldn't get drunk, he didn't dance because it wasn't awesome, he had to spend the rest of the evening refusing women and men who couldn't resist to his natural awesomeness but he have to be elegant, gentle, composed with everyone. Yes, Gilbert hated balls very much!

"I didn't hope to find you here, white rabbit!"

Gilbert turned around quickly, "Ivan?"

"Da, me, white rabbit," the Russian said with a gentle smile.

Gilbert snorted, "stop to call me _white rabbit_! I'm not a rabbit and it's embarrassing to hear it from you!" Ivan sighed deeply wrapping an arm around the Prussian's waist, "you used to love it, Gilbert. Do you remember?"

Gilbert shook his head quickly forcing an arrogant smile, "remember? Do I have to remember something about you and me?" The Prussian remembered everything very well because it had been a good thing, after all… but it had ended like every good thing in his long life. Ivan's expression turned sad but he didn't stop to smile, he never stopped to smile, "why do have to act like this, Gilbert?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes, "what do you want, Ivan?"

"You already know the answer..."

Gilbert smiled proudly, he felt so awesome when his older lovers came back to him begging him to be together again. Ivan had always been so honest about that, but not Roderich. That useless Austrian was too in love with his pride, his piano and himself to accept the cruel truth: he hadn't been able to conquer Gilbert like he hadn't been able to conquer Prussia. But Ivan… Ivan had almost done the first thing and he had destroyed everything with his owns hands.

"And you know who I will choose at the end," Gilbert replied but Ivan didn't use to give up so easily, Roderich did. The Austrian hadn't lifted a hand for him, Ivan had fought to have him back, at least. He had failed but he had tried. "Do you love him?" Ivan asked simply. Gilbert stopped to smile immediately, "he is my brother…" He muttered.

"You know what I mean…"

Gilbert chuckled, "he is a child, Ivan. I can't fall in love with a child, it's ridiculous!"

"But you would fuck him if he…"

"Ja!" Gilbert answered quickly, "but it's different! It would be like a game and I would like to play it because he is so beautiful and I would be very happy to be his first lover."

"He didn't look so childish about these things, Gilbert."

"I'm not childish, I'm a free spirit!"

"Whatever you want…"

"But you're right!" Gilbert nodded with a smile, "Ludwig isn't like me, he is so serious about feelings and he is so sweet and naïve! He thinks to be in love with me, you know?" The albino laughed and didn't notice the new expression on Ivan's face, "what did he say?"

"He said…" Gilbert stopped to talk when he looked up at Ivan's face: he wasn't smiling, his violet eyes were dangerously dark and he looked tensed. "Ivan, are you alright?"

"What did Ludwig said to you?" Ivan repeated clearer and Gilbert sent him a venomous gaze, "it's not your business!" He exclaimed turning away but Ivan grabbed his wrist blocking him but Gilbert continued to ignore his gaze stubbornly, "did you already broke his heart, Gilbert?"

Gilbert sighed deeply, "he is only a child."

"He is a man and you know that."

Gilbert laughed staring at the Russian over his shoulder, "he will stop to be in love with me very soon!"

"This is what you hope…" Ivan muttered.

"No, this is what will happen, Ivan."

The Russian smiled shaking his head quickly, "Ludwig will never stop to love you but he will began to hate you if you didn't stop to play with his feelings."

Gilbert blinked, "I'm not playing with his feelings, I'm protecting him and…"

"Don't you dare to talk about him anymore!"

Gilbert and Ivan flinched like everyone in the room: a young red-haired boy fell on the pavement, next to a broken glass. A red stain of wine was extending on the carpet, the boy was holding his bleeding nose with a hand cursing the other young man right before him. Gilbert widened his eyes staring at the blond teenager dressed with his military uniform, his blue eyes were burning like the ones of a general during the most bloody battle of his life.

The Prussian shook his head slightly, "West?" He called coming closer.

"You piece of shit!" The red-haired boy muttered standing up quickly, "you aren't even a Prussian, you bastard!"

Something rose inside Ludwig, a dangerous thing and Gilbert saw it very clearly, "West… Ludwig!" He moved between his little brother and the red-haired boy, "Ludwig!" He called again placing his hands against the younger one's chest pushing him away, "Ludwig!"

Everyone was staring at them but Gilbert didn't care, he wanted only to take Ludwig away from that place, away from that people and their curious eyes. The albino sighed in relief when they reached the empty corridor, Ludwig was growling some nonsense trying to push his older brother back but he wasn't lucid enough to use the right strength, "Ludwig? Ludwig!" The albino pushed the blond against the nearest wall, "what the hell is wrong with you?"

Ludwig turned numb immediately, he tilted his head tiredly staring at the pavement.

Gilbert continued to stare at him, "what's wrong with you, West?"

"Do you know that Austrian boy?"

"Austrian boy? Who?"

"The red-haired one!" Ludwig shouted and Gilbert pressed him against the wall, "lower you voice or my king will punish you, he can do it and you know that!"

"I don't fucking care!"

Gilbert widened his eyes, "you use to swear now?"

Ludwig hit his fist against the wall behind him and Gilbert took his face in in his hands, "Ludwig! Calm down, talk to me! I don't understand if you didn't say a word," Ludwig took two deep breaths, "he said you've been his lover for a while…"

Gilbert blinked, "what?"

"He said that you like to act like a whore… Roderich has said the same things to me."

Gilbert closed his fists, he tried to calm himself, he tried to repeat to himself that it was just a young stupid Austrian's dirty joke. He couldn't begin a fight right during a victory's celebration. He couldn't… He was the awesome Prussia… He… "Go to hell!" Gilbert shouted to no one turning around to come back to the ball, find that damned brat and kick his ass badly. But he took only three steps before someone's hand grabbed his wrist, "don't go!"

"I have to defend my honor!"

"Defend your honor with me!" Ludwig replied grabbing the albino's other wrist, "tell me the truth for one single time in your life! Talk to me about Gilbert, the real Gilbert, not only the warrior or old brother!"

"The truth…" Gilbert repeated lowering his eyes for a while, "you're too young, West…"

Ludwig didn't reply he just pushed his older brother against the wall at his place violently. Gilbert closed his eyes growling something, "West, what…" He couldn't finish because Ludwig's lips shut him up with a quick, childish kiss but it was enough to make the albino freeze. Ludwig pushed himself away slightly, "I'm not too young to do it!" He said firmly.

Gilbert pretended to look annoyed, "West, we've already talked about it! I'm awesome and you're a romantic teenager with a crush for his beloved older brother and it can be normal at your age but you don't have to act so violent with the first guy that said sexual nonsense about me."

Ludwig closed his eyes frustratingly, "Gilbert, stop to look at me like a baby."

Gilbert giggled, "but you'll always be my baby brother forever and ever."

"Stop to do it!" Ludwig shouted violently grabbing the albino's shoulders strongly, "West…" Gilbert stopped to smile, "West, you're hurting me!"

"You desire me, right?"

Gilbert snorted, "West you're beautiful, you're perfect! Every man or woman would be happy to be your lover."

"Why did you stop that morning?"

"Again? It was my fault, West, I'm deeply sorry! I had to reject you before the first kiss but… you know… I'm a human, no one had touched me like this for a while and I… I couldn't restrain myself! I know! I sound like a horny brat and… and… Yes! I would have fucked with you but… but… it was a stupid, bastard thing, because you didn't want to have sex and I saw only what I wanted to see… West, please! Forgive me and forget everything!"

Ludwig nodded, "you don't want the feelings but you want the sex, right?"

"Ja… I mean, nein! I'm not going to break your heart, if you want a romantic thing, you will have a romantic thing because you deserve it! A day… with the right person!"

Ludwig took his older brother's hand placing it over his heart, they stay still, Gilbert stared at that little spot confused feeling the strong beat inside that strong chest, "you've already broken it, bruder."

Gilbert held his breath, he wanted to look up at Ludwig's blue eyes but he wasn't so sure about his reasons anymore. It didn't look like a childish feeling anymore, it didn't look like a teenage phase… it scared Gilbert a lot…

"West?"

Ludwig didn't act like a child that time.

He grabbed Gilbert's chin lifting his face, his stormy blue eyes made the albino freeze. They looked at each other for a while until Ludwig bent down slowly, slowly, slowly… if his brother didn't like him at all, he would have had all the time to push him away but Gilbert didn't move a finger. He waited for those wonderful lips closing his eyes automatically.

Ludwig kissed him slowly, tasting his lips, licking them shyly and waiting for Gilbert to answer and the albino did it quickly opening his mouth slightly, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around his little brother's neck. The Kingdom of Prussia desired his little brother, yes! He had admitted it since the start of that sweet incident! But he didn't want to hurt his little beloved brother, if Ludwig loved him… in a childish way, in a mature way, he didn't know… but he couldn't risk to lose Ludwig, his Ludwig.

It wasn't important if they weren't lovers, Ludwig was his, he was his child, his creature, his unconditional love.

His deepest and forbidden desire…

When they stopped Gilbert took a step back because that desire was too much to bear when that brat continued to tease him so selfishly.

_He is a man and you know that_.

Ivan was right, he was trying to deny it because if he was still able to see how much Ludwig was young, he could suppress that burning desire a little longer… "West…" He muttered at his little brother, he was deadly serious this time, "I can't fall in love with anyone… I love you, I love you more than anyone else… but it's different from a lover's love, do you understand?"

Ludwig only stared down at him firmly, "do you like when I touch you?"

Gilbert wanted to shake his head, he wanted to deny but it was too late. He had been so stupid undervaluing his brother's feelings!

"Ja…" he nodded blushing a little, "Ja, I like when you touch me."

"Would you like to touch me back?"

Gilbert nodded again, "ja…"

"Then…" Ludwig rested his forehead against the albino's one, "let me touch you. Nothing less, nothing more…"

Gilbert blinked two times, "but… West!"

"I can survive with it…" Ludwig interrupted him, "but don't ask me to let you go."

"I don't belong to anyone, Ludwig," Gilbert replied firmly.

"But if you want to touch me, you don't have to be touched by anyone else," Ludwig's eyes darkened a little.

"Is it a deal?" Gilbert asked smirking, if he had to look at Ludwig like a man he had to begin very soon.

"Ja, bruder…"

"I accept it," Gilbert said sensually against his little brother's lips.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. <strong>Thank you for the reviews, they always make me happy and thank you to everyone else to read this... thing. Gilbert and Ludwig don't look so romantic right now in the second-line and it is only the start of the angst...

In the next chapter we'll meet Roderich at the end of the WW2, it won't be funny.

No real history-notes this time.


	4. I Belong To You

**_[I Belong To You]_**

_[1864]_

They ran along the corridors, they ran up the stairs stopping only to kiss each other hungrily, passionately. Gilbert was laughing and giggling, Ludwig was deadly serious but they wanted the same thing now. The younger one grabbed his brother's wrist pushing him against the wall again, Gilbert chuckled wrapping his arms around his neck, "you can't resist to me any longer, my beloved West."

"Shut up…" Ludwig muttered kissing him, he didn't know what he was thinking as he lifted a hand and placed it on the back of Gilbert's head, fingers threading through the silver strands, pulling him closer. Gilbert kissed back closing his eyes, "My bedroom? Your bedroom?"

"Mine, it is nearest…"

Gilbert giggled, "You're so impatient! It's awesome!"

"Shut up, I said."

They walked slowly continuing to kiss each other until Gilbert found himself pressed against a familiar door, Ludwig opened it and closed it with his foot as they stepped inside. They didn't stop to kiss each other, they didn't stop to touch each other. Gilbert tried to wrap his legs around Ludwig's waist and the younger one lifted him bringing him to the bed.

They fell on the mattress together, the angle of the kiss changed, giving them better access, and the kiss turned deeper, more intimate, more pleasurable for both. Gilbert gave a guttural moan, putting his palms against Ludwig's chest trying to undo the uniform's jacket before rolling his hips suggestively. That movement was enough to make Ludwig break the kiss, his blue eyes were wide open, his lips were wet and there was a confused gaze on his face.

Gilbert smiled tenderly, "Hey…" he murmured taking his little brother's face in his hands, "don't be embarrassed, I'm very glad to find you so… happy to see me."

Ludwig growled something lowering his gaze but Gilbert grabbed his chin to make the younger one look at him in the eyes, "Rule number one: don't take your eyes off of your lover, never. You have to make him or her feel like the most beautiful and precious thing in the world and a gaze can be more sincere than words, sometimes. Did you understand?"

Ludwig nodded absently, he didn't look so interested about his older brother's experience.

"Rule number two: don't force your lover to do anything, it's the worst thing that someone can do during sex. It has to be a good thing, try to understand what he or she wants to do."

Ludwig nodded again, "what do you want to do, brother?"

Gilbert smiled proudly pinching Ludwig's nose, "my West is so good, isn't he?" He stared at him for a while caressing his cheek slowly, "I have an awesome game to play with you."

Ludwig nodded for the third time, "Explain it to me."

Gilbert ignored the coldness of his voice unbuttoning quickly the younger one's uniform's jacket. Ludwig throw it on the pavement as Gilbert worked on the white shirt showing his perfect slight muscular chest, the albino licked his lower lip: his little brother was only seventeen and he was a piece of art, he couldn't image what he would had become during the next years.

Ludwig freed himself from the shirt too while Gilbert tried to undo his trousers. The blond grabbed his wrist stopping him a little roughly, the albino laughed, "we need your not-so-little friend to play this game, West."

Ludwig blushed again but it didn't make disappear his cold expression, "I'm not going to get completely naked before you."

Gilbert grinned arrogantly, "do you want to watch me, West?" He sat up and Ludwig lifted himself on his knees automatically, "do you want to touch me, West?" Gilbert asked again playing with the golden buttons of his uniform. Ludwig just stared in silence while Gilbert rested his back against the mattress again freeing every button from his butthole slowly… slowly… and, at the end, he sat up throwing the shirt and the jacket on the floor.

And Ludwig continued to stare down at him deadly serious while Gilbert smiled up at him sliding a hand inside his own trousers touching himself slightly and moaning softly, "do you want to touch me there?" He asked again lowering the trousers enough to show the forbidden fruit between his legs.

Ludwig took a deep breath, he had already seen his brother's naked body but it was so different, so different…

"West?" Gilbert called travelling his fingers on his abdomen, "do you want to play this game with me?"

Ludwig didn't answer, he got off of the bed standing right in front of his older brother, "Lift your legs."

Gilbert didn't understand but he obeyed without stopping to smile, Ludwig took off his boots and then he pulled the trousers' hem leaving Gilbert on the bed in all his naked glory. The albino laughed, "it's your turn, little brother."

Ludwig didn't look embarrassed anymore, his cheeks were red but the dark expression on his face was so _stimulant_. He looked older with that expression and, when the younger one got rid of his trousers, Gilbert could help but blush like an idiot.

Gilbert stopped to smile, staring at his little brother in complete awe: Ludwig was so young, so naïve but… but… he tried to find the innocent teenager inside those blue eyes but his baby brother had disappeared right before his eyes.

Gilbert turned his face towards the windows, it was his turn to be embarrassed and he didn't know if he liked it. He had acted like the adult, like the expert lover and his brother had supposed to be the innocent awkward virgin and it had been funny and sweet inside the albino's mind but now… in the real world…

Gilbert felt Ludwig crawl on the bed, over his body. He felt those stormy blue eyes stare down at him, the albino could barely breath: was it a little sex game with his little brother, still?

_He is a man and you know that_

"What is it?" Ludwig asked, his voice was gentle but it wasn't the same voice Gilbert used to hear. The albino found the courage to look up at the younger one's face. Did he want a funny and simple thing? Gilbert knew that whatever was going to happen between them on that bed couldn't be funny or simple.

It was going to be deep like the ocean in Ludwig's blue eyes, it was going to be the greatest thing in his life after Friedrich's death and it was going to be so prohibited. Gilbert could barely breathe while he watched that beautiful young man over him.

Not a boy, not a teenager, not his baby brother. Ludwig was a man while he was staring down at him sadly and coldly at the same time waiting for his brother to give him the only thing he had the courage to give.

"What do you want, Gilbert?"

_Seriously… what do I want?_

Gilbert opened his mouth but he didn't talk immediately, "you…" It was true, it was sincere, it's was nothing and everything at the same time. Ludwig's shyness come out at the end, "I don't know… well, I can imagine but…"

"I will teach you," Gilbert was different, too. He wasn't sarcastic, he wasn't arrogant, he was patient, he wanted to give to his beloved Ludwig an awesome first time. He spread his legs allowing Ludwig to move between them.

The younger one looked nervous and tensed so Gilbert wrapped his arms around his neck to kiss him again, Ludwig kissed back holding that naked perfect body against his chest. Gilbert smiled in the kiss feeling Ludwig's hands travel along his chest, his hips, his thighs. It was slow and sweet and the thought of being the first one to be touched by his little brother's hands was enough to make Gilbert whine.

The albino reached down touching the manhood between his brother's legs and Ludwig stopped to kiss him immediately tensing up. "Do you like it?" Gilbert asked brushing his fingertips against the hard shaft, "West…" He sighed contently while Ludwig hid his face against his neck, "you're only seventeen but…"

"Shut up…" Ludwig muttered embarrassed. Gilbert retreated his hand lifting his hips to make their erection touch. Ludwig widened his eyes and bit his lower lip to stay silent while Gilbert moaned softly without stopping to roll his hips against Ludwig's ones.

"Gilbert…" Ludwig called breathing heavily, "stop it."

"Why?" The albino asked wrapping his arms around the boy's waist to pull him closer and arching his back allowing their erections to rub against each other. "Gott…" Ludwig growled. Gilbert smiled feeling Ludwig's hips move with his own, he closed his eyes relaxing beneath Ludwig's body calling his name softly until the younger one kissed him on the mouth again.

It was the innocent side of the sex and Gilbert had missed it very much and he was very happy to live it again with Ludwig. His beautiful, perfect Ludwig.

Gilbert could stay like this forever in his little brother's arms running to reach a pleasure a little too distant but it could be the best run of a life. They have time, the mature pleasure could wait a little more… a little more…

Gilbert widened his eyes when he felt something wet on his stomach, he noticed that Ludwig had stopped to move resting his forehead against his shoulder, he was breathing heavily. Their bodies were still pressed against each other but the only hard thing between them belonged to Gilbert.

Gilbert bit his lower lip to not laugh, it wasn't a good thing, not with a younger virgin lover.

Not with Ludwig.

He just smiled up at the ceiling and then he kissed his brother's cheek, "West?" He called with a sing song voice. "Shut up!" The younger blond exclaimed.

Gilbert giggled, "I said nothing!"

"Shut up!" Ludwig repeated moving off of his body to sit on the edge of the bed. Gilbert looked down at his body, a warm white fluid was all over his stomach but he didn't care, he lifted himself on his elbows staring at Ludwig's back, "West?"

"I…" Ludwig tried to say, his voice was trembling, "I'm sorry… I've to say it, right?"

Gilbert chuckled, "you don't have to be sorry!" He exclaimed cheerfully, "not with me. It means that it was good, I'm glad…"

"But it's been a little too good for me, right?"

Gilbert sighed coming closer and resting his cheek against his little brother's back, "it can happen at your age, Ludwig, don't stress yourself."

"It is humiliating."

Gilbert placed a kiss on his back, "no, it's not. It doesn't make you less manly or anything… Just, come here, I want to come, too."

Ludwig turned around: his cheeks were red and he was adorable like this. Gilbert couldn't help but kiss his cheek, "Come on, make me feel good."

Gilbert pushed his little brother against the pillows crawling over him and sitting on his lap, Ludwig watched him in complete adoration and Gilbert couldn't help but smile placing his hands on the teenager's chest, "we'll talk about the real sex another time," the albino said, "I don't want to run, not with you."

"What can I do?" Ludwig asked embarrassed.

"Give me your right hand," Gilbert ordered and the younger blond obeyed without understanding, the albino wrapped his fingers around the wrist taking the hand to his mouth kissing every fingertips slowly.

"What are you doing?"

Gilbert leered without answering and taking one of Ludwig's fingers inside his mouth, he began to suck it slowly making Ludwig shiver beneath him. "Bruder?" He called blushing deeply but he didn't take his eyes off of the albino's face who took a second finger between his lips wetting it with his tongue like the previous one.

Gilbert stopped only when he felt a hard thing under him and Ludwig squeezed his tights to brush his new erection against his crotch, he sighed with a smile freeing those fingers from his lips and bending down to take his little brother's face in his hands, "move your hand to touch my awesome ass."

Ludwig didn't make Gilbert repeate himself, he touched one of his brother's butt-cheeks squeezing it slightly. _Gott… _It was so soft and warm!

"Make one of your wet fingers slide between my awesome buttocks."

Ludwig looked up at him and Gilbert giggled, "ja, West, do it."

The younger one moved his hand blindly looking for that secret spot, he stopped when he found it, he looked up at his brother and Gilbert smiled. His brother didn't know how much he loved that smile…

Gilbert flinched when he did like he had said, "your fingers are cold."

"I'm sorry."

"No," Gilbert bent down, "you don't have to be," he kissed his little brother's mouth slowly while Ludwig moved his fingers between his butt-cheeks touching the most forbidden part of his body, "Inside…"

Ludwig stopped to kiss back, "what?"

Gilbert smiled against his lips, "inside, West, inside."

Ludwig nodded slightly but he hesitated for a while brushing his fingertip against Gilbert's private entrance. His brother whined resting his forehead against his own, "inside, West…"

The blond made a little pressure and half of his finger slid inside his brother's body making Gilbert moan loudly, "move it…" Gilbert growled placing a kiss on his forehead, "move it, West… West…"

Ludwig obeyed without even thinking and adding the second finger after a while, Gilbert flinched breathing heavily, "good, West, you're very good!"

Gilbert's body was moving slightly to meet his little brother's fingers, "touch me, my beloved soldier, touch me."

Ludwig had stopped to think few minutes ago, he obeyed to everyone of Gilbert's order like they were the most natural thing in the world. His mind could think only about Gilbert, only about his perfect body that was shaking with pleasure thanks to him, about his soft moans and about those wonderful lips against his own that was kissing him desperately running towards the final pleasure.

It didn't last so long…

Gilbert stopped to kiss him hiding his face in his shoulders moaning and moving his body spasmodically until he stopped suddenly tensing and coming in Ludwig's hand and on his stomach with a last moan. Ludwig relaxed against the pillows feeling the comfortable warm on his brother's body pressed against his own. He wrapped an arm around Gilbert's waist and, after a while, he placed a kiss on his shoulder awkwardly.

Gilbert smiled against his shoulder turning his head to kiss his neck slowly.

Ludwig stiffened, "Gilbert?"

"Shhh…" Gilbert used his tongue to play with his earlobe and then he went down kissing his collarbone, his chest, he stopped on the right nipple for a while and then he kissed his stomach. Ludwig had lost the capacity to speak so he just watched while his brother leered up at him one more time, "do you need a hand, West?" Gilbert said brushing his fingertips against his member, Ludwig just bit his lower lip.

"Or do you prefer something else?"

Ludwig could barely breathe and he wasn't sure to have understood his brother's words, he just looked while Gilbert bent down taking the tip of his manhood inside his mouth. Ludwig threw his head back biting his lower lip to not moan but he could help but growl. The young German didn't have the courage to look down, it was enough the feeling of Gilbert's mouth around his member while he sucked it, slowly like he had done with his finger before, to make him lose his mind.

He didn't want to look, he would had lost control immediately but… but… He just couldn't help himself.

Ludwig stared down at his brother and it was the most erotic image of his young life: Gilbert's eyes were closed, his cheek were red like his lips around the tip of his manhood. His expression was focused to give to his little brother all the pleasure he could give him.

"Gilbert…" Ludwig called softly resting a hand on Gilbert's head caressing it slowly, gently until a strong wave of pleasure made him tense and he gripped his brother's hair violently. "Gott! Oh Gott!" Ludwig came collapsing on the pillows a second later.

It wasn't only good, it was the heaven… the heaven… _my heaven _

"Ouch, West!" Gilbert growled and Ludwig tried to open his eyes and look at his older brother. Gilbert was sitting on the mattress between his legs massaging the back of his head and pouting, "you've hurt me!"

Ludwig forced himself to sit up, his hair was a mess but his mind was almost empty after the last orgasm, "oh… I'm sorry."

Gilbert looked up at him and Ludwig noticed for the first time the little white rivlet that was flowing down from the corner of his mouth. He widened his eyes and opened his mouth in disbelief, "I've… I've…"

Gilbert blinked, "what's wrong?"

Ludwig decided that he wasn't going to talk clearly very soon and he just lifted his hand drying that white fluid, Gilbert stared down at his fingers and giggled, "oh, it's just your sperm," he said it so naturally that Ludwig almost fainted, "what is it, West?"

"Did I… I've…"

Gilbert came closer and wrapping his arms around his little brother neck, "ja, you've come inside my mouth."

Ludwig became redder if it was possible.

"Hey…" Gilbert pecked his lips, "calm down, it's okay!"

"I… I…" Ludwig decided to just shut up.

Gilbert didn't look angry or annoyed, was it a natural thing for him? He didn't have the courage to ask. Gilbert got off of the bed and Ludwig couldn't help but stare at his naked body as he walked towards the chest of drawers. He opened the first drawer taking off a white cloth and then he immerged it inside the washbowl placed on the top of that piece of forniture.

Gilbert cleaned his stomach quickly coming closer to the bed to hand the cloth to his little brother, Ludwig accepted it cleaning his fingers and his chest throwing that piece of fabric on the pavement at the end.

Few minutes later, Gilbert's back was pressed against his chest and Ludwig wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer. The albino took his hand playing with his fingers absently, "it's so strange…" he muttered.

"What?" Ludwig asked.

"We've slept together so many times and I never hoped to be in your arms in this way."

"When did it begin?"

"What are you talking about?"

"When you've begun to think about me like a lover?"

Gilbert laughed, "West! You've always been my little brother for me, everything is started in Denmark!"

"Liar…" Ludwig muttered.

* * *

><p>Gilbert was getting accustomed to Ludwig's presence in his bed.<p>

He was getting accustomed very gladly to Ludwig's presence over his body, as well.

And they didn't even have sex, yet!

They have spent the last month playing in bed without clothes and Gilbert had been the most awesome teacher of the world, he was sure of it!

Ludwig would had turned into the most wonderful lover of Europe very soon and he was his, only his and Gilbert was very proud of it.

He loved to stare at Ludwig's sleeping face when they had done, he looked younger when he was asleep and Gilbert couldn't help but watch him travelling his index over his face gently in complete adoration.

Gilbert didn't realized at first but, after a month, he had already stopped to hide his true feelings in public. He never left Ludwig's side, he always smiled at him a little too brightly touching him more often than he was supposed to do. On the contrary, Ludwig looked more adult, more distant, more cold towards him when they weren't alone.

Gilbert thought that it was a way to hide their secret relationship better and he accepted it naively without complaining.

"You look more beautiful, you know?" Ivan asked one day during one of those boring balls. Gilbert didn't stop to smile, "are you trying to invade my vital regions again, my dear Ivan?"

Ivan made a face, "I think there is already someone in your bed…"

"Is it so clear?" Gilbert asked simulating a surprised expression and then he laughed, "it's the best lover I've ever had, to be honest."

Ivan's expression darkened a little, "What is his name?"

Gilbert chuckled, "I didn't mean to offend you Herr Russland! We have stopped to be lover years ago, you've stopped to be my lover, to be precise! Don't make that face, everyone one wants a part of the awesome me, after all."

"Isn't another human, right?"

"Do you care?"

"Da, I care when I know you will fall in love with this mysterious guy very soon!" Ivan drink his red wine absently watching the people around them trying to find the Prussian's new lover between them, "tell me something about him… is it a _him_, right?"

But Gilbert had stopped to smile, he was looking at the Russian with a very cold gaze, "I will not fall in love with anyone else thanks to someone," he said and Ivan's expression soften a little, "did you miss me, my beloved Prussia?" He asked cupping the albino's cheek gently.

Gilbert push that hand away, "I've stopped to think about feelings when I fuck with someone!"

"Lower you voice, my dear rabbit!"

"I'm not your rabbit!"

"Shhh…" Ivan wrapped his arm around his shoulders, "you know that I could be with you until the end of the eternity."

Gilbert stared at the pavement, "they were only words."

"You have chosen another man, Gilbert…"

"I've chosen my family, Ivan. It was a natural thing!"

"It's not the only truth and you know it."

"Stop to say nonsense!" Gilbert shouted at the end pushing him away, "you've betrayed me just like Roderich and I won't let anyone touch my heart another time! I will be like you and him, I will use people's feelings to get what makes me feel happy! I'm able to do it with other nations during a war, I will do it for the sex, too!"

"But I bet that you're faithful to him, right?"

Gilbert froze, "We've a deal…"

"A deal?" Ivan smiled diabolically, "you're so coward that you can accept a deal because you don't have the courage to call it love?"  
>Gilbert closed his fists tightly! He hated it! He hated him! He hated like Ivan could read inside him mercilessly.<p>

"You already belong to him."

"I don't belong to anyone!" Gilbert replied coming closer to the Russian, he looked at the people around them: no one was watching them, "and I will prove it to you!"

Gilbert took Ivan's face in his hands kissing him impetuously.

No one was watching them.

No one but a person.

The sound of a broken glass made Gilbert stop that childish farce and turn around.

He froze.

Ludwig was staring at them, Ludwig had seen everything.

Ivan looked down at him confused and then he followed his gaze meeting the younger German's blue eyes and he held his breath understanding everything. Ludwig sent a hateful gaze to them turning around rashly and walking out of the great ballroom.

"Ludwig…" Gilbert murmured.

Ludwig walked along the palace's corridors without a destination, he only wanted to run away from Gilbert and his betrayal. He wanted to find out that it was only a nightmare, that Gilbert hadn't kissed that bastard Russian right before the entire court's eyes like there was nothing wrong about it.

Like nothing had happened between them during the last month.

He hated him, he hated Gilbert.

He had humiliated himself when he had proposed that deal to his older brother, he had walked on his own feelings just to have the illusion to make Gilbert his, to love him as a real lover not only as a brother.

And Gilbert… Gilbert…

Gilbert had played with his feelings and his body until he had got tired of him.

Was it because of the sex?

Ludwig had never denied it to him, Gilbert wanted to wait, Gilbert didn't really wanted him since the start. He wanted only to play a pervert game with his little brother to enlarge his ego!

"Bastard…" he muttered resting a shoulder against the wall of a dark corridor slapping a hand against his own face, "you're a bastard, bruder, a fucking bastard!"

"Well… Well… Well…"

Ludwig flinched when a hand touched his shoulder and he made a face when he recognized the blond young woman in front of him, "Natalya…"

"Ludwig," she replied coldly, she was wearing a black dress that made her look like a cruel fairy of the night "I'm not the only one in love with its older brother, I guess…"

Ludwig bit his lower lip turning his head, "leave me alone."

"Why?" She asked, "you can be very useful for me right now and I can be very useful for you, as well."

The younger one looked at her one more time, "what do you mean?"

"I saw what you've seen," she placed a hand over his chest playing with the decorations of his uniform, "your dear whore is a little too impulsive, isn't he?"

Ludwig grabbed her wrist violently and she smiled diabolically, she looked like Ivan with that expression, "I know that you want to punish your brother like I want to punish mine."

"I don't want to hear nothing else from you…" Ludwig was going to walk away but the young woman didn't want to let him go, "Gilbert is sure to have you in his hands and you're letting him treat you like a puppet! It is weakness, Ludwig."

"You can't talk about what you don't know!" Ludwig hissed.

"I don't know…" Natalya muttered coming closer to him, "Oh, my dear little Ludwig, I know very well how you're feeling right now," She cupped the younger blonde's face, "you are in love with your own blood but you aren't loved back, we share the same curse."

"My brother cares about me, at least," Ludwig replied darkly and Natalya stopped to smile, "I wanted to help you to conquer the little whore's heart."

"Don't you dare to call my brother in that way, again!" Ludwig shouted bringing his right hand to her throat, Natalya widened her eyes but she relaxed quickly, "good, Ludwig, I won't need to force myself if you act like this."

Ludwig blinked while the blond young woman grabbed his wrist with both her hands, "you're strong, you're proud, you can become the most powerful Empire in Europe, maybe. I don't care, anyway, I want to make my brother feel like I feel since the day he has fallen in love with that bastard Prussian but I need a good accomplice and you're perfect."

"Be your accomplice!" Ludwig laughed, "what the hell are you saying?"

Natalya snorted loudly, "I'm lucky, you're beautiful, at least…" She took Ludwig hands placing them over her breasts.

Ludwig widened his eyes blushing deeply, "are you out of mind?" He asked pushing her away.

She rolled her eyes, "don't be so childish, you know what you have to do. I'm not so ugly, you can do it with me without throwing up, can't you?"

"Do it…" Ludwig held his breath for a while, "are you crazy?"

Natalya frowned, "crazy? It's just sex, boy."

"I don't use to play with this kind of things!"

"Oh…" Natalya smiled briefly nodding slightly, "we've a little virgin nation here! It's very interesting!"

Ludwig turned redder trying to turn around one more time but Natalya was faster than him, she pushed him against the wall violently wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Yes, she kissed him.

Natalya was kissing Ludwig.

Ivan's little sister was kissing Gilbert's little brother and it sounded funny and tragic at the same time.

Natalya cupped Ludwig's cheeks and kissed him deeper, her hands spontaneously slid down, tracing his jaw line and Adam's apple, lower onto the torso again. Ludwig barely kissed back but he didn't push her away, he felt nothing for her, she was nothing for him.

But Gilbert had betrayed him, he had broken his heart two times and… No! He didn't want to be his faithful little dog, his precious secret doll, his innocent and naïve little brother.

He was a man, he deserved to be loved and respected like a man.

He could be cruel like a man!

"Natalya."

They parted.

They turned around.

Gilbert and Ivan were staring at them in silence.

At first, Ludwig lowered his face trying to hide himself but he looked at his older brother a second later and in his expression there was only coldness. Gilbert's expression was horrible, it seemed like he'd fallen into despair.

"Natalya," Ivan called again and the young woman smiled up at him one more time before walking towards her older brother, the Russian held out his hand and Natalya held it happily, "good night, Gilbert," Ivan murmured a little sadly but his brother only nodded absently.

The Russian glared at Ludwig.

Ludwig glared back until the two siblings disappeared at the end of the dark corridor.

Gilbert and Ludwig were alone.

They were in front of each other, face to face.

Ludwig with his coldness expression, Gilbert with his barely hidden despair.

The albino was the first to move.

He walked closer slowly, slowly and he stopped only when he was almost able to touch his little brother.

"Bru…"

The slap was sudden, painful and Ludwig couldn't help but cup his cheek closing his eyes, when he reopened them Gilbert was still there, the tears were streaming down his cheeks but his expression was the anger's portrait.

It wasn't a older brother's slap, it was a lover's slap.

"How could you…" Gilbert growled venomously.

Ludwig's expression turned darker, "you slap me like an offended mate when you've been the first to break our deal."

"It was just a quick kiss, you stupid brat!" Gilbert shouted, he was losing his mind, Ludwig was sure of it, "and you… you… you've run away looking for your revenge without even talking with me!"

Ludwig snorted, "talk with you? I'm tired of your lies, I'm tired of your secrets! I hate you! I hate you!"

Gilbert laughed hysterically, "do you hate me?" He asked with a diabolical smile, "you're nothing without me, you're just a brat without a real nation, without a real name, without a real power and without a real future!"

It was Ludwig turn to slap him and Gilbert fell on the floor miserably while his little brother stared down at him in disbelief. Gilbert hid his face in his arms sobbing desperately on the floor at his younger brother's feet.

"Bruder?" Ludwig called worried kneeling on the floor next to him, "I'm sorry, I've lost my mind! I'm sorry! Bruder?"

"You're mine, you little bastard!" Gilbert shouted rolling on his side to hid his face to Ludwig's eyes, "you're mine, no one can touch you, you belong to me."

"I don't belong to anyone, just like you my dear brother!" Ludwig replied hastily and Gilbert held his breath staring at the great window before him with wide open red eyes. The moon was the only source of light, the silence was broken only by his and Ludwig's heavy breath.

"I lied…" He murmured at the end.

Ludwig stared at his back confused.

Gilbert turned his head hesitantly to look up at him, "I lied…"

Ludwig shook his head without understanding.

"When I said…" Gilbert lifted his hand touching Ludwig's cheek, "I said that I don't belong to anyone… I wanted to but…"

Ludwig widened his eyes.

"I had to lie, Ludwig, I had to li…"

Ludwig shushed him with an impetuous kiss and Gilbert wrapped his arms around his neck immediately pulling him closer and closer. The albino caressed his cheek and his blond hair kissing back desperately until Ludwig wrapped his arms around his body lifting him in his arms.

"How long…?"

"I don't know," Gilbert smiled against his mouth, "always… probably…"

No explanation was requested now.

Later… Later was fine.

But now… now…

Gilbert had said that he belonged to him and Ludwig didn't need anything else!

Corridors, stairs.

A door slammed.

Their clothes fell on the floor like autumn-leaves.

Gilbert grunted when his legs collided against the bed's edge collapsing on the mattress, Ludwig over him.

The younger blond stared down at him, the sight was delightful.

"You drive me mad…"

Gilbert placed a hand over his cheek, "no, you've made me lost my mind, brat."

he lifted his hands off the mattress wounding them up around Ludwig's neck, closing the short distance.

Tongues met, exploring curiously, playing in some strange kind of slow passion.

The albino tangled his fingers into the golden strands, massaging the younger man's scalp while his tongue did the same to Ludwig's own, but with ebullient devotion now. In a couple of skillful movements, Ludwig succeeded in spreading his older brother's legs and settling between them comfortably, weight on his knees.

Gilbert stared down at the manhood between his brother's legs licking his lips maliciously allowing Ludwig to experiment for a while, it was a good idea. Ludwig's lips took care of Gilbert's neck, hands traveling over the perfect body he had wished to explore, kissing and caressing the pale skin like it was the most precious thing in the world.

Gilbert felt like it. Precious, loved, desired…

The young nation kissed across his jaw before licking his earlobe and breathing softly into his ear as he pressed their naked bodies together. Gilbert sighed deeply closing his eyes in sweet anticipation.

They were going to commit their last sin, they were going to fulfill their most forbidden and secret desire.

"Ludwig…" Gilbert called softly and the younger one looked down at him, "you're a man now, you can take what you want if you conquer it, and you're already conquered me years ago."

Ludwig shook his head, "I want to hear you say it."

Gilbert grinned, "you can have me if you wan…" He stopped staring at his little brother for a while, "no, you can have because I want you to be mine."

"I'm already yours, bruder."

Gilbert got used to the intrusion quickly.

He wasn't a virgin after all and Ludwig was a very careful and gentle lover. He was scissoring his fingers almost delicately without stopping to stare at Gilbert's flushed face, he added another fingertip a little too harshly and Gilbert let a noise of discomfort pass his lips. Ludwig stopped pressing a buttefly kiss below his navel in apology. Gilbert smiled sliding his hands into the blond locks, "take me, West."

Ludwig looked up blushing deeply trying to calm his racing heart, "I don't know what to do," he admitted embarrassed, "I mean… I know only the theory."

Gilbert didn't laugh, he didn't want to ruin that awesome atmosphere, "lay down, I will think about everything, this time."

Gilbert moved only when he saw Ludwig lying on the bed, he crawled closer without stopping to smile maliciously. Ludwig gulped, the sound of his own beating heart boomed through his ears when Gilbert mounted him, his smile was still on his face while his hand slid down between his legs.

He curled his fingers around the base of Ludwig's erection in a gentle squeeze bobbing up and down. Ludwig bit his lower lip without taking his eyes off of that scene.

Gilbert held Ludwig's cock upright to position himself, and Ludwig just stared in adoration while Gilbert moved slowly down his member, red eyes screwed shut in sheer pleasure. Ludwig was sure to see his brother's erection twitched enthusiastically right before his eyes.

"Oh, Ludwig…" Gilbert cried out softly feeling the heat of passion cross his body while he lowered himself down. Slowly, he rotated his hips in a circular way, already feeling the swollen head press against one of his sweet spots. He spread his legs further, his body slid down, impaling himself completely.

Ludwig closed his eyes throwing his head back, he opened his mouth slightly but he was out of air and no sound escaped from his lips.

He was going to faint, he was going to faint!

He was inside Gilbert. _Oh Gott_… He was inside his beloved brother's body.

Gilbert rolled his hips, and thrust his pelvis back and forth in a circle again to search for the best angle and best position. Ludwig just caressed his thighs squeezing the soft skin, the younger man was in his brother's hands, now and Gilbert smiled satisfied starting a steady rhythm, always careful not to press his entire weight down on Ludwig's body.

"Oh Gott…" Ludwig moaned grabbing Gilbert's hips thrusting back to get more pleasure. Gilbert felt his muscles tightening because of the sudden friction, he placed his hands against Ludwig's strong chest throwing his head back and riding him like a expert knight.

That sight was enough to make Ludwig come immediately.

Gilbert.

Gilbert over him.

Gilbert's beautiful face distorted thanks to the pleasure he was giving him.

It had to be the heaven, but it wasn't enough.

Ludwig wanted everything of that unique creature, he wanted his soul, his heart… Everything!

He wanted to melt with Gilbert until their body turned into a single, perfect thing.

The younger man moved into a sitting position wrapping his arms around Gilbert's body taking one of his pink nipple between his lips while Gilbert moaned loudly running his fingers between his blond hair, "oh, Ludwig… Oh, Ludwig…" He almost sobbed taking Ludwig's face in his hands kissing him desperately until their bodies began to move frantically together.

They moaned against each other's mouth while Gilbert came against his young lover's chest and Ludwig squeezed his buttocks firmly filling his older brother's body. Gilbert closed his eyes, resting his cheek on the top of Ludwig head enjoying the warm feeling of his little brother's seed inside him.

It had never felt so right since his nights of love with Friedrich.

Roderich had been a naïve mistake, Ivan's had been a hopeful try.

But Ludwig… Ludwig was love.

Ludwig was the greatest love of his life.

Friedrich had been his first love and he couldn't stop to love him, but he had been just a lover, a king, a friend.

Ludwig was blood of his blood.

He had loved Ludwig unconditionally since the start of his life, he just started to love him _differently,_later.

Gilbert smiled sweetly brushing his nose against the soft blond locks. Ludwig was kissing his chest slowly resting his forehead against his shoulder, his arms were still wrapped tiredly around his body.

His blue eyes were closed.

Gilbert chuckled, "Ludwig?" The albino pushed his little brother down gently resting his cheek on his abdomen, Ludwig stared down at him with half-closed eyes. "I clean up, a little…" Gilbert murmured standing up coming closer to the washbowl to do what he always used to do at the end of their _games_.

Ludwig just watched while Gilbert cleaned the little entrance between his buttocks and then he came back taking care of his chest, "it had been one of the best orgasm of my life," the albino murmured softly throwing the cloth away.

Ludwig was still silent and Gilbert tilted his head, "didn't you like it?" He asked deadly serious and the younger one blinked, "like it…"

"Didn't you like to make love with me?" Gilbert asked again.

Ludwig lifted himself on his elbows smiling like an idiot, "make love…"

Gilbert was a little confused, "it's what we've done until now, West."

"Ja, I know…" Ludwig took the albino in his arms kissing him on the lips gently and resting his forehead against his, "we've made love, it sounds so right."

Gilbert agreed silently: it sounded like the rightest thing in the world.

He grinned, "West, you've turned into a romantic sissy boy, didn't you?"

Ludwig turned serious immediately, "you've never been able to read the atmosphere."

"I turned it awesome!" Gilbert exclaimed jumping on his little brother making them collapse on the mattress again.

"Gilbert!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"I took your virginity! I'm so awesome!"

"Shut up! Stop to act like an idiot every single moment of your life!"

"You love this idiot, my dear West."

"I didn't said it clearly, yet."

Gilbert stopped thinking about it for a moment staring down at his little brother's face, "say it!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes, "Gilbert…"

"Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!"

"You're loud and I'm tired.

"I know! The awesome me has destroyed your little virgin body!"

"_Shut up!_"

* * *

><p><em>[1945]<em>

"_It has been a mistake…"_

Roderich Eldestein wasn't able to be a parent, he wasn't able to be tender towards a little human. He could be patient, he could be gentle but the coldness of his etiquette surrounded him everywhere, every single minute of the day.

_"It has been a great mistake!"_

Gilbert had done a lot of mistakes with Ludwig, he had been better with their daughter after her birth but he hadn't been perfect, too! He used to be strict sometimes with Ludwig during his training but he had always tried to be sweet with him sometimes. Gilbert didn't have to force himself, it was a natural thing for him because he loved Ludwig. No one had never loved him during his childhood and Gilbert didn't want the same thing for his little brother and his child.

_"I'm sorry, it's my fault."_

Roderich Eldestein couldn't been a good father, he could be a responsible person but he didn't know how to hug a child and Gilbert wanted to give his daughter to someone who could love her like her deserved, like he and Ludwig had done… more or less.

_"I can't love you… I don't… I don't love you."_

Gilbert didn't like Roderich but he was the only member of their family out of that Hell.

"Gilbert…" Arthur called and the albino looked up at him nodding slightly, "let him in," he muttered and the Brit nodded opening the little room's door.

Gilbert forced a smile.

_"It's my fault, Gilbert, I'm sorry…"_

"Hi, Rod!"

* * *

><p><strong>A\N:<strong> _I wanted to write about Roderich but I've written about Gilbert on Ludwig, Ludwig on Gilbert etc. etc._

_I'll talk about Roderich in the next chapter but I can't promise it..._

_In the Second-Story-Line will start the Mpreg's first arc and one of the parents won't be happy about the child._

_A little note: I've written one last scene about Gilbert's feelings for Ludwig before the war in Denmark, it was to explain when Gilbert has begun to love him as a lover but it's disappeared (mistery UU). I'll add it somewhere else but don't think about Gilbert like a selfish guy who changes his mind every day, that's it!_

_I love you for the comments! They make me very happy!_


	5. Promise Of A Lifetime

**_[Promise Of A Lifetime]_**

_[1945]_

There was only a table between them but it looked worse than a wall. Roderich was embarrassed, confused, tensed and Gilbert didn't fail to notice it but he tried to restrain his sarcastic spirit for Louise's sake, "thank you to be here, Rod."

The Austrian nodded, "I couldn't refuse, not when Francis has said that you were here."

Gilbert smiled slightly, "did you miss my awesomeness, dear Rod?"

Roderich smiled sadly, "I'm glad, in a way or another."

"Why?"

"You're still able to talk like you used to do," Roderich answered simply and Gilbert snorted, "an army of black crazy bastards isn't enough to defeat me, but you're already an expert, right?"

"Yes…" Roderich was staring at Gilbert in complete awe but he was trying to hide it with all his strength: he had spent years without knowing nothing about Gilbert, about his life in the Nazi Germany. Gilbert's free spirit could be very dangerous, but his arrogance had saved him and his daughter, at the end.

Roderich was glad about it.

"Ludwig?" He asked hesitantly: he didn't know what had happened at the German after the official end of the war, he didn't even know if Gilbert wanted to hear his name, to be honest. But the albino smiled softly, "he is with Louise, right now," he answered calmly, "Louise needs to stay with her Papa a little more and Ludwig needs to stay with our girl until he has time."

Roderich's heart ached suddenly, "are you together again?"

Gilbert's expression changed, "I wanted to talk about my daughter, Rod and…"

"Are you together, again?" Roderich repeated sadly and Gilbert sighed annoyed nodding slightly, "we make love sometimes, if it's what you want to know."

Roderich lowered his gaze, "did you forgive him, at the end?"

"No," Gilbert answered, he wasn't smiling anymore, "no one can forgive the Nazi Germany, Rod."

"But you fuck with him," Roderich replied venomously.

"I fuck with Ludwig, not with a Nazi," The albino replied harshly, "that's none of your business, anyway!"

"My business?" Roderich shook his head reaching out to touch Gilbert's arm, "you don't know how much I was worried about you and Louise. I thought about you in that damned city with all these bastards! When the Allies have taken Vienna, all the Nazi officers of the city have killed their children, their wives and, at the end, themselves."

Gilbert closed his eyes, "they have done the same thing everywhere, Rod. In Berlin, they were delirious! They continued to talk about the end of the Aryan's race, no Germans could survive Hitler, no one could survive the Nazism. I don't want to think about what they would have done to Louise…"

"Their Nazi Germany's child."

Gilbert looked at Roderich again, "Rod, I'm not asking it for me or Ludwig, it's only for Louise's sake. We've never been friends, it's true. But we've been together since the start of our life, after all. It's not easy for me to admit it, but you're the only one in the entire Europe that can take care of our child."

"I've always been your formal brother, Gilbert," Roderich replied, "but you loved to forget that, right?"

Gilbert sighed deeply, "Rod, I will beg you if it'll make you happy, but Louise…"

"What will I say to her?" Roderich asked nervously, "the last time I've taken care of a child was with Ludwig and you did all the real work."

Gilbert smiled proudly, "you've admitted it, at the end!"

"I've never denied it!"

"Liar," Gilbert muttered, "Louise knows nothing about the war, her father and everything else."

Roderich nodded, "she will know nothing from me."

Gilbert's eyes were full of hope, "will you take her with you to Vienna?"

The Austrian nodded slightly, "yes, but I want to talk with Ludwig before."

"Do we have time?" Gilbert asked to Arthur.

The Brit nodded and the albino stood up followed by Roderich, "Gilbert…"

The younger one looked at him waiting for the rest of the sentence, the Austrian bit his lower lip, "come here, please."

Gilbert blinked without moving and Roderich came closer wrapping his arms around him, the albino stiffened but he didn't complain. "I had to be the father of your child," Roderich muttered and Gilbert closed his fists, "don't say that."

"If Ludwig wasn't born, we…"

"Ludwig is born, Roderich," Gilbert replied coldly, "he is my brother, he is my lover, he is the father of my daughter. He had given Louise to me, if she is here now it's only thanks to him and if my love for him will end one day, I will never regret to have been his lover… If Ludwig has been my worst mistake, Louise is the only good thing I've ever done and I did it with West. Is it clear?"

Roderich pushed him away gently but his eyes were full of disappointment, "you didn't even want her, you've almost killed her, Gilbert."

Arthur blinked staring up at the two men: Gilbert had turned paler than he used to be, he wasn't going to restrain himself anymore, "don't you dare to say it, again!" He shouted and the Brit decided to come closer, "you're nobody to talk about it, you know nothing about what I was thinking that day!"

"Gilbert!" Arthur wrapped his arms around his shoulders to calm him down, "Gilbert, think about Louise, now!"

The Prussian looked at him immediately holding his breath.

"Think about your daughter, Gilbert."

The albino nodded slightly sitting on the chair again and Arthur sighed looking at the Austrian, "my soldiers will take you to Ludwig, you can go."

Roderich nodded, he stared down at the albino one last time, he looked sad, and then he turned around leaving the Brit and the Prussian alone.

Gilbert was staring at the table's wooden surface right before his eyes, but he wasn't really watching it, "Gilbert?" Arthur asked kneeling next to him. Gilbert shook his head slowly without a real reason biting his lower lip, "he didn't know what he was talking about…"

"It's not a problem, Gilbert."

"I regret what I've tried to do since my baby girl's birth," he muttered. Arthur shook his head, "you don't have to justify yourself with me," he said trying to sound gently, "I see you with Louise every day, you have betrayed Ludwig for her. I don't know what you did to harm her, but… Gilbert this isn't important now…"

"I didn't want her," Gilbert muttered absently, "It's the truth, I didn't want her."

Arthur widened his eyes and stopped to talk.

"Ludwig was only seventeen, he didn't have a real name, yet. He didn't have power, he was strong and proud but he depended on me politically. We were fighting together to create an Empire, a German Empire… And we were so close to get it when I found out about my pregnancy… I was afraid… I was afraid…"

"You were thinking that your baby was going to be Ludwig's replacement just like Holy Roman Empire has been your father's replacement," Arthur said.

Gilbert nodded closing his eyes, "I was at the start of the fifth month when I tried to get rid of the baby," he chuckled sadly, "but Louise has always been too stubborn like Ludwig and awesome like me to die so easily."

Arthur just nodded slightly.

"I've almost lost her and Ludwig that day…" Gilbert was going to cry, Arthur could see it and it made him sad in a way or another, "I…" He lowered his gaze, "I didn't want Alfred, too."

Gilbert stiffened, he blinked two times and then he turned towards the Brit. Arthur forced a smile, "we found out about Matthew only during the birth. I've not been lucky like you, Gilbert, my child's father… Fr-Francis… He wasn't in love with the little thing inside me and I was alone, I felt so lonely and I thought to kill my baby every day, at the start."

Gilbert just stared at him silently.

"I did nothing, at the end. We have fallen in love with our little one day after day, but…" Arthur didn't know why he was talking about it with one of his enemies, "I was afraid, you were afraid. We've given birth to our children and you've done a better job than me."

"Alfred… does he…?"

"No," Arthur shook his head slightly, "we have decided to say nothing, we've abandoned our children in a way or another. You and Ludwig have been braver than us, I guess…"

"Louise is Berlin, it's different…"

"No, Gilbert," Arthur shook his head, "Alfred and Matthew were two colonies, they were part of us like your daughter is part of you and Ludwig. You didn't make Louise grow up in another house with strangers, far away from you and her father. You've been her mother, Ludwig has been her father. You've been honest with her and the world," a pause, "you've done a mistake but you've done it to protect your brother, not because you were too coward to be a parent. Louise is fine! She is beautiful and alive, nothing else is important now!"

Gilbert smiled weakly, "thank you…"

Arthur snorted, "it's only a bracket, we're still enemies."

Gilbert nodded but he didn't stop to smile.

* * *

><p>Louise was sitting on the floor between her father legs, she was drawing on a paper and Ludwig was playing with her blond hair gently, "where is Mama, Papa?" The little girl asked turning her head towards her parent. Ludwig smiled, "he is talking with Uncle Roderich, love."<p>

Louise rested her back against Ludwig's chest and the German leaned down kissing her temple sweetly, "what did you draw?" He asked wrapping his arms around her little body. Louise lifted the paper: "this is our new house, it is Mama, it is you and it is me."

Ludwig rested his chin on the top of her head smiling down at the colorful lines on the white paper: everything looked so easy inside that little childish world. Ludwig rested a big kiss on his girl's cheek and Louise laughed, the blond smiled kissing her again.

Ludwig was able to demonstrate his feelings honestly only with his daughter, it had always been like this since his little one's birth. He loved Gilbert sincerely of course, Louise was just a different thing.

"Papa?" Louise curled up against his chest, Gilbert did the same thing when they slept together, "I'll go with Uncle Roderich but you will take me home soon, right?"

Ludwig smiled sadly cupping his girl's face, "I will, my love."

"And then… you, Mama and me will be happy and together forever, right?"

Ludwig was going to answer but the cell's door opened and Ludwig stood up automatically taking the child in his arms. Roderich Eldestein stepped inside the room followed by Alfred, "he wants to talk with you," the American explained.

Ludwig nodded without taking his eyes off of the Austrian's severe face, "Can you stay with Louise for a while, Alfred?" The German asked and the younger blond nodded coming closer, "do you want to come with me, little princess?"

Louise pouted, "I'm not a princess, I'm a soldier like Mama and Papa."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Alfred exclaimed smiling and taking the little girl from Ludwig's arms, "I take her to Gilbert, Lud."

Ludwig nodded smiling at his daughter one last time, Louise smiled back and she disappeared behind the reinforced door with the American young man.

The German and the Austrian stared at each other silently for a while.

"You're fine," Roderich commented coldly.

"I look fine but I'm not fine at all," Ludwig replied blankly.

"You've abandoned them for six years, it won't be so hard to lose your daughter for a while," Roderich made a face, "you will have Gilbert for yourself, at the end."

"I've always had him for myself, Roderich," it was the truth: Ludwig was born and he had conquered Gilbert with his blue eyes immediately. At first as a brother, later as a lover and then as the father of his child.

Roderich closed his fists, "you didn't deserve him, you don't deserve him, now!"

"You're right…" Ludwig muttered, "I don't deserve my brother and I don't deserve my daughter but I'm not going to let them suffer anymore."

"You had to save them earlier, you've almost killed them because of your complete irrationality!"

"I know…"

"And they will pay because of you."

"I know…"

Roderich came closer, there was sadness in his eyes, "Do you know? I was so proud of you when you're born. You've made Gilbert smile again, I didn't believe in you when you've begun to fight to become an Empire but I was wrong. You have been able to get everything you wanted, even more! You were free, you were powerful, you had a beautiful lover and a healthy baby girl but it wasn't enough, right?"

"I had everything you wanted, Roderich," Ludwig said a little coldly.

"I used to love you, Ludwig," the Austrian sounded sincere.

"I know, I'm very sorry…"

Roderich smiled sadly, "when you were a child, I spent the most of my time thinking about you, me and Gilbert like a family. But Gilbert wanted Ivan and that Russian bastard was very happy about it. Their relationship didn't last because of you, do you know?"

"I know everything about you, Ivan e Friedrich," Ludwig answered calmly.

"You're a real soldier," Roderich commented, "you don't lose control easily, right?"

"I can't blame you."

"Sure…" Roderich nodded slightly, "but, at the end, you've still everything you want."

Ludwig tried to reply but the sudden punch made him collapse against the wall.

Roderich was weaker than him physically and the Austrian had never dirtied his hands with him, not personally. He had never touched him, not even when he had to punish him during his youth.

"Do you know what will happen now, Ludwig?" The Austrian screamed, "he'll do everything to protect you, he won't allow them to punish you. He will die to protect you!"

Ludwig shook his head looking up at the Austrian again, "It won't happen, I won't let him protect me!"

Roderich shook his head, "you're not going to win against him and you know it, Ludwig."

* * *

><p>Gilbert was trying to smile brightly with all his strength, Ludwig could see it clearly and he tried to look calm and relaxed, too. Louise didn't throw a tantrum, her mother made her wear her jacket and she didn't complain. Her father help her with the scarf and the gloves, "it's already winter outside, you know?"<p>

"Is it snowing?"

"Not yet, Louise."

"It will snow where I'm going to go."

"Of course!" Gilbert exclaimed cheerfully taking her in his arms, "Vienna looks like a Snow-City during winter."

"But don't play with the snow every day or you'll catch a cold," Ludwig added.

"But my awesome girl won't catch a cold, right? Right?" Gilbert threw his daughter in the air making her laugh, Ludwig smiled without complaining. The cell's door opened, Arthur stepped inside with a deadly serious expression on his face, "you've to say goodbye."

The two Germans nodded and the little girl hid her face in Gilbert's chest automatically.

The albino bit his lower lip looking at Ludwig, the younger one sighed deeply resting his hand on the top of his daughter's head, "our little soldier will be brave, right?" Louise looked up at her father and, after a while, she nodded firmly and Gilbert kissed her one more time before the Brit came closer taking the child in his arms, "Bye, bye, Mama. Bye, bye Papa."

Roderich was waiting for her in the corridor, Gilbert looked at him and the Austrian nodded smiling slightly. Ludwig closed his fists when the Austrian took his daughter in his arms. Louise's blue eyes were full of tears but she was restraining them to make her parents proud of her.

She was a soldier and she had to be brave.

Yes, she was a soldier but she was a six-year-old child, too. She had never been without her parents. Sometimes, Mama or Papa had to leave her but not together, never together!

Louise looked at her parents one last time and when Roderich took her away she couldn't help but cry, "Mama! Papa! Mama! Nein! Nein! Papa! Nein!"

Gilbert let himself fall on the edge of the bed, he hid his face in his hands hearing his precious child's desperate voice. Ludwig bit his lower lip without moving and Arthur turned around sighing deeply, "don't bother them until my next order," he ordered to the guards. The cell's door was closed again.

Ludwig looked down at his sobbing brother, "Gilbert…" He called trying to touch him.

"Stay away from me now, West, please!" Gilbert shouted back standing up and walking towards the nearest wall. He rest his forehead against the cold stone trying to restrain the sobs in his throat. Ludwig didn't care about his words, he came closer to him wrapping his arms around his body almost violently.

Gilbert stiffened but he didn't push him away.

The older brother turned around hiding his face against the younger one's chest.

They knew that their daughter's voice was going to haunt them until the end of that torture.

_[1866]_

_Prague_

"One more time…"

"I've to go."

"You're a horny teenager and you know that you want the awesome me… Oh! We've stopped ten minutes ago and you're already so hard!"

"S-Shut up!"

"Don't be embarrassed! You've to be proud of yourself! Your awesome older brother is so proud of you!"

"Gilbert, let me go…"

"Nein!" Ludwig fell on the mattress again, he found himself under the blanket with Gilbert's arms wrapped around his neck and his legs wrapped around his waist. They were going on since the last night, "we have to celebrate this victory!" Gilbert had said and then he had stripped himself and Ludwig imprisoning his little brother on his bed.

Ludwig didn't complain, of course.

Seven weeks of war, seven weeks without making love.

One night wasn't enough to make up for lost time.

But there was a treaty that needed to be signed.

"Gilbert," Ludwig smiled against his lips kissing him one more time and Gilbert smiled happily, "I have to go, you know it."

Gilbert pouted, "Rod is a loser with or without that piece of paper."

"It's my first treaty!" Ludwig exclaimed throwing the blankets away.

"It's cold, West!"

"It's summer, bruder."

"But I will be cold if you leave me alone," Gilbert smiled maliciously under him but Ludwig had to force himself to sit up, "later…"

"Later isn't awesome!"

Ludwig looked down at him smiling, he used to smile very often ultimately and he couldn't help but do it when Gilbert was in front of him in all his naked glory with that adorable childish expression on his face, "you're a little spoiled, bruder."

"It's not my fault!" Gilbert giggled and his lips curved up in a sweet smile when Ludwig cupped his cheek and bent down to kiss his forehead, "I will come back soon, Gilbert."

The Peace of Prague, resulted in the dissolution of the German confederation, Prussian annexation of many Austria's territories and the permanent exclusion of the Austrian Empire from the German affairs, this left Prussia free to form the North German Confederation. This left Ludwig and Gilbert free to fight for their dream together officially.

The young German left the conference room with his brother's King, his future Emperor and Bismarck, a brief smile made his face shine and a certain dark haired nation didn't fail to notice it. "Vulgar…" Roderich muttered loud enough to make Ludwig turn towards him, "you've signed your first treaty with his scent on you, it's so vulgar, Ludwig. Very vulgar."

Ludwig's smile died quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about, Austria."

"Austria?" Roderich repeated coldly, "you used to be so precious for me, Ludwig. You've a been a ray of sun at the end of a dark era for us… I can't believe you're the reason of our defeat, now."

"Your defeat, Austria," Ludwig corrected, "Gilbert is the winner and we'll start an Empire together, it's not important if you'll accept it or not."

"Of course…" Roderich nodded sadly, "I'm not important because I've been defeated but the rest of Europe won't be so happy to see a German Empire rise right before their eyes without doing something about it."

"I'm ready to fight them if I have…" Ludwig replied firmly, "I'm not going to stop now… Not now!"

Roderich laughed without joy, "you? Ready? Sure, you're so young and so naïve, Ludwig. Do you know what will happen to you if your dream will fall in pieces? Nothing… Nothing because you don't have power, you're just a Prussian territory now. If something will happen to your… German Empire, the enemies will ignore you and they will take care of Gilbert, properly."

"Stop this nonsense!" Ludwig exclaimed turning back.

"You're condemning him, Ludwig!" Roderich shouted and the younger one froze, "he is taking a responsibility bigger than him and he is doing it for you, for your childish love that will fade soon enough to destroy his soul one more time!"

"Shut up!" Ludwig stared at the older one coldly, the silence fell heavily upon them, "you're using your moralism to attack me because you don't have the strength to say the truth, Roderich!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," it was Roderich's turn to say it.

"I admired you! Seriously, Roderich! Your words used to be very precious for me but I'm not going to listen to you anymore. Gilbert is my brother, Gilbert is my lover and Gilbert will be part of me very soon," Ludwig came closer to the Austrian after every sentence, "stop to use your morality like shield when we both know that you'll be the first to comfort Gilbert if I'll hurt him."

Roderich widened his eyes and then he lowered his gaze shamefully, "you're only a brat, you can't understand…"

"What? That you've always loved Gilbert but the appearances for you was too important to confess your love to a younger rebel nation without a land?"

"Stop it, Ludwig."

"That you've gone on in a living hell while Gilbert has given his heart to Friedrich despite the inevitable end of their love?"

"Ludwig…"

"And Ivan… You've watched Gilbert fall in love with someone else right before your eyes but you did nothing, Roderich. This is the first time you're trying to fight for Gilbert, right? Because I'm not the Illuminist Prince of my era, I'm not the big Empire of the East, I'm just Ludwig."

Roderich said nothing.

"I can look like a naïve child, it's true… I can't understand the world, yet. But I've grown up between you two, you've been my first world and I learned to know it," there was sadness in Ludwig's eyes now, "I won't let you take Gilbert away from me, never."

A wall of silence fell between them.

No one dared to move.

It wasn't over, yet.

Roderich sighed deeply, "try to not die and try to take care of that rebel thing," he looked up at the younger one, "can you promise it, Herr Deutsches Reich?"

"I promise."

"You're late!" Gilbert exclaimed while a pillow flew across the room missing Ludwig just for an inch, "you're a late! You're late! The bed is cold now and I'm shivering. Come here to make me forgive you, West!" Gilbert kicked the blankets away relaxing against the mattress in all his naked glory, "you're still wearing your clothes, it's not awesome!"

But Ludwig didn't laugh, he didn't look amused at all.

"West?" Gilbert sat up a little confused while the younger one walked around the bed to sit on the edge of the mattress right next to his brother, "West?" Gilbert called again caressing the blond hair at the base of his little brother's head. Ludwig closed his eyes sighing deeply, "I've talked with Roderich…"

Gilbert stiffened, "and…"

"And I need to know something about you," Ludwig answered looking at his brother, Gilbert nodded making him know that he was listening, "can you talk to me about your lovers? The ones before me…"

Gilbert widened his eyes, he didn't blush but he lowered his gaze looking for the blanket and holding it against his chest shyly, "about Ivan?"

"Everyone…"

Gilbert rolled his eyes, "I'm not Francis, my love."

"It isn't funny."

"I can't understand what you want to know…"

Ludwig thought about it for a while, "talk about it like if you've to write it in your diaries."

Gilbert laughed, "I wrote it in my diaries, but I've hidden them from you! You can read them now if you…"

"I want to listen this story directly from you, Bruder…" Ludwig insisted and Gilbert rested his back against the pillows deciding the right way to start to talk, "Ivan has fallen in love with me when we weren't teen, yet. I spent a lot of time in the East during my childhood and he has been one of first enemies. He has always been out of mind, he has fallen in love with me just because I was his enemy."

Ludwig made a face but he said nothing.

"We were children, we didn't even know what a kiss was and when I was thirteen, the adult forced me to merry Brandenburg… Wilhelm was his name, he was fifteen but he never touched me, he was gentle with me but I was very naïve, he has understood it very quickly and he has decided to leave me alone. He died after a while and someone decided to close me inside a monastery, I was too awesome for the real world… I leave that place when I've turned into a Kingdom, I was sixteen and I didn't know nothing about the world but war and religion and it has never been a good mix, believe me."

Ludwig felt lucky to be born in his era, to be honest.

"And then…" Gilbert smiled sweetly and his cheeks turned a little red, "Friedrich is born."

Ludwig tried to stay calm and silent.

"We hated each other, at the start… He hated me, to be honest… I hated him back because I was too awesome to be hated by my crown prince! He was so boring! But I hated when his father tortured him, I hated him very much! It was his son, for God's sake, he wasn't awesome but he was his son!"

"I understand…"

"No, you don't, West!" Gilbert exclaimed, "when you're born, I've remembered those years and I don't know where that fat man found the courage to hurt his child so much! I've been strict with you, sometimes but…" He sighed deeply, "it's not important now but Friedrich Wilhelm has killed Fritz in more than one way. He didn't executed him when he tried to escape from home but… He has killed Hans, his lover, my friend… It was the start of everything for us, I saw him turn into a different man during those years."

"When did you fall in love with him?" Ludwig asked.

Gilbert smiled sadly, "we have fallen in love slowly, day after day… We had the same age when we have made love for the first time, I've given my virginity to him and…" The smile disappeared, "Fritz got married one year later. I knew that, I've always known that but… The love can make you so naïve, sometimes. I died inside every night he was with his wife, he didn't love her but…"

"I can understand very well," Ludwig said rethinking about Ivan's hands on his brother and his lips against his mouth. It was true, it had made him die inside.

"I've learnt how to love someone thanks to Fritz, I guess… We shared everything, we've been together the most of our time. It hasn't been easy, there were a lot of men in my court and someone was _interesting_for Fritz…"

Ludwig widened his eyes, "he has… he has…"

"Sometimes, when he was younger…"

Ludwig closed his fists, he hadn't known Friedrich the second, he had been a great king, maybe, he had been Gilbert's first true love but… but… Ludwig wanted to punish him right now, punish him to have made Gilbert suffer. "West?" Gilbert brushed his fingertips against his cheek sweetly, "don't get nervous, now. I've been happy with Fritz, seriously! It's just that when you spend an entire time with the same person, it's the most beautiful thing in the world but it can't be easy every day."

Ludwig didn't answer, he looked down at his brother firmly, "it won't be hard enough to make me cheat on you…"

Gilbert stiffened and then he smiled brightly, "do you believe it, West?"

"Ja…"

"Come here…" Ludwig leaned down and Gilbert wrapped his arms around his neck kissing him on the lips, "don't be jealous of Fritz's memory, West. You don't need to be afraid of my past…" he murmured against his little brother's lips. Ludwig nodded but he wanted to know something else, "and Ivan? And Roderich?"

Gilbert sighed deeply beginning to unbutton his jacket, "get undressed, if you want to know the rest…" He wasn't smiling, he was kissing Ludwig's face because he really needed him. Gilbert didn't want to waste his time with Ludwig talking about the past, the present was awesome enough and he didn't need anything else. But Ludwig needed to know, he deserved to know.

Ludwig finished to unbutton his uniform's jacket and Gilbert continued to stare at him, "Roderich… He has been nothing, to be honest. When Holy Roman Empire died, my little precious Ludwig, I was like a broken doll. I'm not ashamed to admit it, Fritz and then my little brother, it was too much for me," Ludwig began to unbutton the shirt, "Roderich has tried to comfort me, he has never been good with these things but he was desperate, too. He has begun to say a lot of sweet things, that he loved me, that he wanted to make me happy. He has kissed me…"

Ludwig closed his eyes biting his bottom lips.

"We've kissed each other for an entire night."

Ludwig restrained the urge to run downstairs…

"The morning after he has said that it has been a mistake."

… and punch that Austrian with his own hands.

"I hated him, I really hated him…"

_I hate him, too_.

"And then you're born and…" Gilbert smiled, "I didn't care about anything else but Ivan… Ivan was so awesome with you! I liked to see him with you, he was good to act like the perfect, gentle father. I loved him for a while, probably. He has tried to make me happy and he succeeded until…"

Ludwig stood up taking off his trousers, "until?"

_Until he has understood that I was in love with someone else_.

"Until he has understood that he was only the second love of my life," Gilbert smiled and Ludwig blushed deeply, "He has asked me to choose between him and you. It was our end."

_Ivan didn't do it because you were my little precious brother, he did it because I was thinking about you as a lover…_

Ludwig was completely naked now and Gilbert loved it very much, "come closer," Ludwig obeyed and Gilbert kicked the blankets away spreading his legs enough to allow his brother adjust between them. But Ludwig didn't penetrate him, he just stared down with a strange expression. "What is it?" Gilbert asked confused brushing his blond hair back.

Ludwig rested his forehead against his, "you've chosen me…"

Gilbert smiled, "I will always choose you, my love."

It was enough for Ludwig and they made love for the entire night.

_[1870]_

_March_

Sans-Souci was a paradise during spring and summer, Ludwig had spent the most of his childhood inside that palace, with Gilbert and his wonderful stories about Friedrich the Great and their awesome adventures. Ludwig used to love those stories, he knew that Gilbert didn't share his memories with anyone else but him and it made him so loved, so special. Ludwig used to love that place because it was important for Gilbert and he spent his time inside that palace only with important people.

Gilbert had never taken someone else there since Friedrich's death, not even Ivan.

Ludwig used to love Sans-Souci but now…

Gilbert was sleeping peacefully next to him, his head was resting on his chest and Ludwig was stroking absently his light hair while he stared at the falling rain outside the widows. It was Friedrich's old bedroom, it meat that it was Gilbert and his King's old bedroom. Ludwig didn't like it very much, he didn't like to make love with Gilbert where another man had loved his brother before him.

He couldn't sleep on that bed, it made him nervous.

Gilbert had to feel his tension because he stirred slightly placing a soft kiss over his heart, "what's wrong, West?" He asked without opening his eyes. "Nothing…" Ludwig murmured kissing his forehead but Gilbert smiled looking up at him sleepily, "tell me what's wrong, liebling."

Ludwig threw his head back smiling up at the ceiling, "you're a devil when you did it…"

"What, liebling?" Gilbert said with a malicious smile moving on top of him, that skin against his was like heaven for Ludwig. Gilbert didn't use to be a romantic person but he had begun to call his little brother with those embarrassing sweet nicknames just to make Ludwig lose his mind completely for him.

"Ludwig…" Gilbert sat up on his lap in all his naked glory, the blanket fell from his shoulders and Ludwig stared up at him smiling proudly. "Do you like what you see, Herr _Deutschland_?"

Ludwig made his fingertips travel along his brother's navel, "That name don't belong to me, yet."

Gilbert tilted his head, "But do you like what you see?"

Ludwig smiled, "I love it…" He murmured and Gilbert leaned down to kiss his lips, "I want you…"

Gilbert laughed, "you little horny teenager."

"Shut up…" Ludwig whispered against those red lips. Gilbert didn't fight when Ludwig pressed him against the mattress, "you're pissed up…" The albino said between the kisses.

"I'm not…" Ludwig lied sucking one of Gilbert's nipple gently while his brother's fingers travelled between his hair.

"Yes, you are…" Gilbert closed his eyes while Ludwig's lips kissed his chest, his bellybutton and then his inner thigh where the skin was warmer and softer, "Ludwig…"

Gilbert threw his head back moaning, "I love to make love with your mouth."

_Did you say it to Friedrich too when you were alone in this room?_

Ludwig focused on Gilbert's fingers between his hair: he had learned to understand what Gilbert was feeling only by the way he gripped or caressed his locks. Gilbert didn't come inside his mouth every time, he did it only when they were too tired to have real sex or, contrary, he was so full of passion to stand up to two orgasms in a single round.

But they had already made love that day and Gilbert didn't love to come alone, usually.

"West, stop…" He muttered moaning again, "Ludwig, stop… Ah… I want to come with you… Uh… Inside me…"

Ludwig placed one last kiss on the tip of his brother's manhood and then he looked up: Gilbert's red eyes were shining with lust, passion and love. He was a piece of art, nothing more and nothing less. "Come here…" Gilbert opened his arms and Ludwig crawled over him until he could kiss those wonderful lips again.

Gilbert smiled against his mouth spreading his legs, Ludwig adjusted between them without stopping to kiss his brother. Gilbert moved his hips against Ludwig's sensually, "Ludwig… Ludwig…" He closed his eyes waiting to feel his little brother's awesome manhood inside him once again, "Ludwig…"

But Ludwig didn't move.

Gilbert opened his eyes looking up at him, "what's wrong, West?" He asked confused.

Ludwig stared down at him for a while.

At the end, he left Gilbert on the bed pulling up his trousers and walking towards the windows. Gilbert sat up on the mattress watching his little brother step outside, under the rain, "West!"

Ludwig stared at the garden over the balcony without seeing it: he hated that place, everything made him think about Gilbert in Friedrich's arms and he was turning insane because of it. "What the hell are you doing?" Gilbert's voice asked angrily behind him.

Ludwig turned to face his older brother: Gilbert was wearing only his white shirt and the rain was soaking it, the fabric would have turned almost transparent very soon.

"Go back inside…" Ludwig muttered.

"Nein!" Gilbert replied coming closer quickly, "what the hell is wrong with you, Ludwig? We're going to start another war soon and you're wasting our time together. It's not awesome, at all."

"I'm only a little upset…"

"Why? Talk with me about it…"

"Gilbert…"

"I'm your mate, for God's sake!" Gilbert shouted, "you don't know how much it's frustrating to see you like this without knowing what is going on in your little head! You've been like this since your childhood, but I'm not going to wait for you to be okay again, I need to know what's wrong with you!"

Ludwig sighed deeply taking Gilbert's hands in his, the albino looked down at their fingers, "I need to know when you've fallen in love with me, Bruder."

Gilbert widened his red eyes in disbelief.

"It didn't start in Denmark, right? It couldn't because you've admitted your feelings too early and you can't be conquered so easily, I know you, Bruder. If it was a simple sex game for you, you would have denied your desire until the end, I know it."

A pause, Gilbert lowered his gaze embarrassed.

"You didn't fall in love with me only after the war in Denmark, right?" Ludwig asked firmly but Gilbert bit his lower lip to not talk, "Bruder?"

"Why are you asking it?"

"Because I need to know that I'm not just the third and nothing else."

"You're the third, it can't be changed…"

"I know it!" Ludwig said hastily, "and you don't know how much it pissed me off but I will accept it if I understand what I am for you…"

"Again!" Gilbert rolled his eyes, "you will never stop to be my brother, Ludwig! Never!"

"It's okay for me, you'll never stop to be my older brother! I can live with it!"

"That's it! Come inside, now!" Gilbert grabbed his wrist but Ludwig didn't move, "Ludwig!"

"I will be only your little brother when you'll find the fourth, right?" Ludwig asked coldly, "you loved Friedrich, I can believe it! But you knew that he wasn't going to be the man of your life! You've loved Ivan but you've left him because of your love for me!"

"You're just a brat! You can't understand!" Gilbert said turning around and taking two steps, "I was young, I was in love and I really believed that I could live with Friedrich until the day I die. I really did, Ludwig! And… I wanted the same thing with Ivan… He was a nation, he couldn't die before me, he couldn't leave me behind and he knew me very well, better than Roderich. He would have never asked to me to choose between him and my baby brother, never."

Ludwig blinked two times, "what?"

"I wanted to love Ivan until the end, Ludwig! I really wanted!" Gilbert exclaimed venomously, "but I turned into a pervert who touched himself thinking about his fifteen-year-old brother. Who made love with his lover thinking about that awesome boy's body over him. I didn't leave Ivan, he has left me when he has seen the truth… When he has understood that I continued to love him only because I didn't want to rot your life with my incestuous love."

Ludwig didn't say a word.

"When you've kissed me in Denmark, I couldn't confess my true feelings, Ludwig! You were so young, you needed to be free, you didn't need my incestuous chains around you. I thought about the sex-game thing to make you hate me enough to fall in love with someone else… But you… You did everything to make me feel good… Everything… When I saw Natalya with you, I… I couldn't restrain my true feelings anymore…"

Gilbert stared at him coldly, "I'm sorry, you're not the third, you're my fucking beloved brother and the fucking love of my life at the same time. I'm very sorry!" He exclaimed sarcastically turning around. "Gilbert!" Ludwig called following him inside their bedroom again.

"What the hell do you want?"

They had got completely soaked in the rain and Ludwig couldn't say if Gilbert was crying because of him or not."

"Gilbert…" Ludwig wrapped his arms around the albino's waist and Gilbert rested his cheek against his wet chest, "you're a little stupid brat, Ludwig."

Ludwig didn't answer kissing his neck, his face and his hair.

"I'm cold…"

"I'm sorry, Bruder."

"And I'm hard…"

Ludwig smiled against his hair.

The bed wasn't so far away but they were wet and the carpet was right in front of the fireplace. Gilbert laughed against his shoulder as Ludwig pushed him down gently, "it looks very awesome…" Gilbert commented while Ludwig pulled down his trousers kicking them away, "very awesome."

Fingers worked the tight entrance, groaning, squirming the deeper they prodded. That thick, throbbing heat inside him, claiming his vital regions. Hands touching, spreading his legs wide. Completely at his beloved Ludwig's mercy. Here, in his little brother's arms, Gilbert could find peace.

How he had missed this feeling.

Gilbert's legs spread wide, silently begging his lover for more, Ludwig kissed him slowly making their hips meet. Gilbert's head fell back, crying out to Ludwig, writhing under that sweet touch working him closer to that heavenly edge. Yes, it was heaven for them.

"Ludwig…" Pale legs tucked around the strong hips, urging, begging. Wanting nothing more than to become one with his brother right then, "I've made you become the most awesome lover of the world and you're not an adult, yet."

Ludwig blushed and kissed his brother's mouth to shut him up.

Gilbert smiled in the kiss wrapping his arms around Ludwig's neck.

"You're so handsome, West… I don't care if a day you will stop to love me, I will never let you go, I will never let anyone else have you. You're mine, you're born to be mine."

Ludwig smiled pulling the milky thighs apart a little more, "it sounds like a threat…"

"Nein…" Gilbert muttered against his lips closing his eyes, "it's the promise of a lifetime."

"A human lifetime?" Ludwig lacing their fingers together as he penetrated his brother slowly, gently…

"Nein…" Gilbert whispered arching slightly against him, "until the day I die, Ludwig…"

Ludwig closed his eyes kissing Gilbert's lips again as he began to move, his manhood made his brother's body bloom once again, welcoming him inside in the sweetest way. Shameless screams fell from the Prussian, snapping his hips up into the passionate thrusts. He rode every stride with equal force, drunk off the pleasure, the delirious sensations washing away his brain.

Whispers and groans fell from Ludwig's mouth, going along with the rough ride, "Gilbert… Oh, Gilbert… Gilbert…"

And Gilbert loved it because it made him sure to own everything he needed. Everything he wanted was in his arms, in his body, in his soul. The rest of the world wasn't important, now. Nerves coiled tight, squirming against Ludwig as the throbbing became unbearable. He could repress it no longer, screaming the name of his loved one as he came between them.

Ludwig filled him with his seed at the same time whispering his name one last time.

The silence fell in the room.

They fell back to the carpet looking at each other happily, sharing identical grins. Ludwig kissed his brother slowly, sensually. Their fingers were still laced together. Gilbert relaxed and let out a pleased moan, relishing the loose sensation. Ludwig rested his head against his chest and his brother's pale fingers began to travel between his golden locks immediately.

"Until the day I die..." Ludwig whispered and nuzzled under his chin.

Gilbert felt breathless for a while and when Ludwig lift himself on his elbows to watch his face, the albino could just stare at him like the only good thing in his life, the only beautiful thing in his entire world.

"I'll make you strong and free, I will protect you until my last breath, I belong to you and I won't give my body, my soul, my life to anyone else… Never..." Gilbert stared into those strong, blue eyes.

"I'll…" Ludwig began taking Gilbert's hand to his lips to kiss it sweetly, "I'll be by your side until the last day of my life, I'll take care of you, I'll love you like I love you now. I'm yours, every part of me is yours."

There was something solemn in their words, the promise of a lifetime. Their entire lifetime.

It could be forever.

Gilbert was the first one to smile and Ludwig smiled back leaning down to seal their promises to each other.

The promise of a lifetime.

Their promise had already been sealed, it had happened that rainy day, on that carpet, in front of that fireplace inside Sans-Souci's palace. The promise of a lifetime had been signed. And a new lifetime was starting right before their eyes, right between them.

It was only too little to be seen, yet.


End file.
